


Life In The Fast Lane

by kizkhalifa



Category: Machine Gun Kelly (Musician)
Genre: Alcohol, Concert, Drugs, F/M, Music, One Shot, One Shot Collection, Romance, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2019-11-16 03:50:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 24,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18086882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kizkhalifa/pseuds/kizkhalifa
Summary: “You’re just a small town girl from Nowhere, Missouri.” He whispered, kissing her temple. “And I’m me - this guy that everyone knows. You’re amazing, you’re perfect.” She wished she felt that was as good a thing as he did.





	1. Golden God

**Author's Note:**

> So my tumblr is full of a lot of MGK request and so I thought why not? Lol. Enjoy. [No beta] ~kiz

**She hated this part. The waking up to realize just what she had done the night before. Or, more accurately,** **_who_ ** **.**

 

She could feel them next to her, an arm over her midsection and their breath on her bare shoulder. It made her skin tingle. She couldn’t figure out why they were there, or more importantly  _ how _ . She was the type that kicked them out before she fell asleep, she was also the type that remembered the night before but this was different. 

 

She opened her eyes slowly, realizing quickly this wasn’t her place. It was a hotel room, a nice one she could tell from the decor that was barely visible in the early morning light filtering in from the covered window. 

 

She stood carefully easing her way from their hold without waking the man beside her. She just wanted to find her stuff and get out. 

 

But, her stuff was nowhere in sight, at least from what she could see and she figured that meant it was probably in the bathroom. 

 

_ Okay...  _ she thought, running her hand through her hair before she made her way towards the nearest door.

 

She didn’t crawl into bed with someone to sleep, she never had been like that. Especially lately. 

She had a few goals in life, being in any type of relationship styled setting was not one of them anymore. She did it for years, and it didn’t work. Now she just wanted to  _ live _ . 

 

She shook the thoughts away and made quick work to wash her face, cleaning off any of the makeup that was leaving black streaks across her eyelids and temples. She wasn’t about to take the ‘walk of shame’ looking like a whore. 

 

At the sound of a set of voices, she let out a quiet groan.  _ Of course, he’s staying with friends,  _ she thought in annoyance grabbing a black hoodie from the floor. She gave it a quick smell deciding it'd do until she got her clothing and slipped it on before leaving the bathroom through the main door. She soon came face to face with not only one other person but a few.  _ Oh, fuck off _ . 

 

One hurried forward, glancing over, “hey, good morning.” She stared at him trying to figure out if this was the guy she had spent the night with. He wasn’t typically her type but then again she couldn’t remember anything from last night. “He still asleep?” 

 

_ Oh.  _ She tilted her head, “guess so?” She answered before looking around the room, spotting her clothing thrown over the couch. “Just need those....” She added giving a nod towards the divan and making her way towards it. 

 

“We ordered room service if you’d like to stay,” he started and she realized this was like a job for him or something. The man was doing it so well it was either practiced or paid. “Just made coffee.” And as soon as she gathered her clothing she looked up at the table where she saw the other few sitting. “We will have a few other guests joining us soon.” 

 

_ Is that... Baze?  _ She asked herself, her eyes widening in shock, and she looked down at the black hoodie she had pulled on. All black except the red outline of a face toward the left shoulder. She jerked the sleeve down next reading, “RAP D3VIL” in scarlet red. 

 

Her eyes scanned the faces again; Slim, Doug, Baze, Rook, and some girl with her head on Rook’s shoulder.

 

_ No.  _ She knew she said it out loud, just as the door to the right opened, “no.” She whispered again her fingers tightened around her clothing. 

 

“Hey, are you okay?” Baze asked stepping towards her in concern. She took a hurried step back nearly tripping over her own shoes that had been thrown haphazardly on the ground. “Alright, calm down,” Baze suggested his hands up to show he wasn’t going to approach her. She kept her eyes trained forward not daring to look to her left and see the man standing there. 

 

“All good, Sin?” That same man that was asking her the question. She’d know that voice anywhere. 

 

She swallowed the lump in her throat, clearing it quickly before getting dressed right there. She couldn’t move and she wasn’t going to make it to the bathroom again because if she did she wasn’t going to leave it. She jerked the jean shorts on, they were concealed by the hoodie but that didn’t matter. What mattered was getting her shoes on and leaving. 

 

She dropped down quickly slipping her feet into the heels, fastening the buckle and then she was up. She figured she was forgetting something. Like her bra and the tank top that was staring back at her from the couch. Oh, and her manners.

 

“Right, it’s been real.” She said after a few deep breaths, still keeping her eyes from the man to her left. She could see his outline and that was more than enough. 

 

“Wait,” he said quickly nearly lurching forward, but she was backing towards the door, “your stuff?” 

 

“I’ll buy new stuff,” she hissed and grabbed the door handle jerking it up before she slipped through and slammed it behind her taking off down the hallway. 

 

Colson looked over his friends, his band, “what did you guys do?” 

 

“Baze just asked her to join us for breakfast.” 

 

Colson looked back to the door. “She left everything,” Rook said after a moment with a chuckle, “phone? Wallet? Shirt? Bra...?”

 

“I’ll catch her,” Colson said quickly and jogged out the door, down the hallway. She was pounding the elevator button so hard he was scared it’d break and thanked God there was a fiasco on the stairs that seemed to involve too much luggage. 

 

“Sinclaire?” He asked softly, quietly, watching her freeze. Her back to him. “I got the hint you’re less than interested in a conversation but you left your phone and wallet....” She jerked around at the mention, her eyes on his hands before making eye contact with him.  _ Finally _ , he thought, giving a small grin, “hey.” 

 

“My stuff?”

 

“Oh, back there,” he gave a nod towards the room, “wanted to make sure I caught you.” 

 

“Mm,” she put her hands to her hips, staring at him as the door to the elevator slid open. “Sorry I....” Words seemed to fail her, “I just... I don’t remember anything after  _ the  _ show.” More quietly she added, “your show.” 

 

“I could fill you in?” He suggested, giving a small shrug, “I, uh, just mean we were together most of it.” 

 

She looked past him seeing one of his friends walking down the hallway towards them, her belongings in hand. She blushed, arms crossed against her stomach. “Hey, uh,” he pressed the items to Colson’s hands.

 

“Thanks,” he answered and took a slow step forward, “alright?” 

 

“Yeah, thanks.” She reached out taking her purse and bra from him, “oh, this is yours,” she said after a moment in reference to the hoodie. 

 

“Looks better on you,” he grinned, shooting a wink across the distance. Sinclaire jerked back after a second, “sure you don’t want coffee or breakfast? We could talk about last night?” 

 

“I don’t need to recount things I did while I was fucked up,” she muttered, unable to look at him. A bit disappointed in herself, what she wouldn’t give to remember their night. It was a once in the lifetime opportunity and she managed to fuck it up. 

 

He laughed softly, “you weren’t that fucked up.” 

 

“Enough I can’t remember much.” 

 

“I bet you remember far more than you think.” He shrugged, “so, coffee and breakfast?” He asked as the elevator door dinged and a man with a cart was getting off. “Here it is now.” 

 

“Mm,” she hummed, watching him walk away, towards Colson’s room. “I’m okay,” she answered, stepping on the elevator, “thanks for my things.” 

 

Colson frowned before offering a wave, “I’ll call you!” He yelped as the door started closing. Watching her wave at him without another word. 


	2. Golden God Pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So kinks are being introduced. Daddy kink (at mention).

**Sinclaire stared down at her ringing phone** , it was the 5th call in the past thirty minutes and she was determined to not answer it. She made a fool of herself this morning and she’d rather just forget it. 

 

“Oh, c’mon,” Molly sighed when the phone started ringing again. “Just talk to him.” 

 

“ _ Talk to him? _ ” Sinclaire rolled her eyes, “like this a normal thing.” 

 

“It  _ is _ a normal thing when someone likes you.” Her friend laughed and grabbed the phone from the table top. “Hello?” Sinclaire stared in horror, her face red with a blush as she watched. “She’s right here debating rather to take your call so I did for her.” 

 

Sinclaire groaned loudly, “Molly give me my phone.”

 

Molly laughed quietly, “oh, she wants to talk now.”

 

Sinclaire stood up and jerked her phone back, “hello?”

 

“Hey! Hi. I wanted to make sure you were okay.” His voice buzzed quietly, “uh, after this morning?” 

 

“I’m okay, sorry about this morning. I needed to throw up.” 

 

Molly made a face at her, shaking her head.

 

“We’ve all been there before. I did a show one time, well more than once honestly....”

 

“I remember,” she found herself saying with a laugh, “I watched the movie.” 

 

Molly quirked an eyebrow mouthing, “ _ what _ ?!” 

 

He laughed, “right, well... I’m glad you’re feeling better.” 

 

“Sorry,” she muttered, sighing again. 

 

“You’re fine, honestly, Sinclaire.” He paused and she didn’t say anything until he spoke up again. “Hey look I wanted to tell you that nothing happened last night.” 

 

“What?” 

 

“Between us,” he said softly, “hold on.”

 

Sinclaire blinked at Molly, covering the phone receiver. “He’s explaining that nothing happened between us last night.” She whispered across their lunch table. 

 

“That’s kinda cute though,” Molly giggled quietly. 

 

Sinclaire’s phone alerted her of an incoming FaceTime and she stared in shock, “oh god. He wants to FaceTime!”

 

“He can still hear you...” Molly snorted pointing at the phone. 

 

Sinclaire blushed and shoved her fingers through her long hair a few times before accepting on the second ring. 

 

“This is better,” his voice came from her speaker, “tell your friend hi for me?”

 

“She can he-.” 

 

Molly was up and bending down to be on camera, “hey!”

 

“Hey,” he smiled, before making a motion with his head as if he was nodding her away.  Molly didn’t move though. “Right so, last night....” 

 

“I believe you,” Sinclaire said suddenly. 

 

“Did you get your memory back?” 

 

“I just kinda pieced it together. After we went to the bar and back to your hotel, we smoked....” 

 

“Yeah, we smoked.” He nodded, “you weren’t feeling well and once I got you into bed we just talked.” 

 

Sinclaire knew her face gave her away because he chuckled and Molly finally ducked out of the way. “Talked?” 

 

“Just talked, Sin, I promise.” He held up his pinky, “I kept my hands to myself.” 

 

“True gen-...” she trailed off with a blush, “Wait, did I  _ not _ ?” 

 

“You got a little suggestive before passing out.” 

 

“ _ Suggestive _ ?!” She flushed again, covering her face with her free hand, “I’m so sorry... - uh, I don’t know what I’m supposed to call you?” 

 

“Colson is my name,” he shrugged, “want me to tell you what you called me last night? I didn’t mind that either.” Sinclaire’s mouth popped open in shock, her eyes scanning his face to see if he was telling the truth. 

 

“ _ Sinclaire _ !” Molly howled with laughter. She knew what it is before it was said. They were best friends, after all.  

 

“I did not.” She breathed out.

 

“A few times....” he winked, smirking at the phone. “We can discuss that further, alone, tonight?” 

 

“Tonight?” She whispered, “what do you mean?” 

 

“Can I take you to dinner tonight?” 

 

“I, uh, don’t you have to leave?” 

 

He gave her a look one that said he didn’t believe for one second she didn’t know his schedule. Like she didn’t know last night was the last show for three months before he went overseas. “You pick the place and time.” 

 

“Oh, well, uh...” She gave a short nod, “actually, you can pick. I’m not sure how often you’re around this area.” 

 

“Mm,” he hummed softly, “okay, I’ll pick. Can I call you later to confirm?” 

 

“Text me?” 

 

“I don’t trust you enough...” he teased with a smile, “you didn’t answer my calls for thirty minutes. How can I expect you to answer a text?” 

 

“Fine, you can call me. I’ll answer.” 

 

“It’s almost like we just had our first disagreement. Look how cute we are.” Molly laughed and he smiled in response to the noise. 

 

“I’m hanging up now,” Sinclaire answered, “around 7, by the way. And I’ll meet you wherever you pick.” 

 

“I can’t even pick you up?”

 

She chuckled despite herself, “I don’t trust you enough, Colson.” 

 

He snorted, “fine, fine. I’ll call you in a few hours. Enjoy your lunch, Sinclaire.” 

 

“And you,” she felt a smile tug at her lips and watched him wave before hanging up, quickly engulfed in a scream from Molly. 


	3. Golden God Pt. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so in this chapter I added text message, S stands for Sinclaire and C for Colson and their social media transactions [one in this chapter] ~kiz

_ October 26th, 2019 1737 _

**S** : Okay I was in the shower. Your snide ass voicemail was not needed. 

**C** : Still noticed you didn’t call me back tho. 

Lol

S: I’ll answer now. 

* **incoming call** * 

 

* * *

 

colson @ **machinegunkelly** _October 26_

ya boy is nervous. 

 

* * *

 

**Sinclaire looked up at the restaurant** with a subtle flutter of nerves in her stomach. She hadn’t ever been to this place, which she thought was rather ironic since she made him pick the place because he might not have been in her town much. She stood outside the building, just before the walkway on the parking lot pavement, a cigarette in hand as she stared at the door. 

 

Something told her he was already in there but she was going to finish her anxiety relief stick, as Molly called them, anyway. 

 

“Not going to stand me up are you?” A voice asked from behind her and she jumped, jerking around quickly. She’d know that voice anywhere. 

 

“No, just.... finishing.” She waved her hand as if to show him.

 

“You look beautiful,” he grinned and she got lost in the look, blushing and forcing herself to look away. “Have you been here before?” 

 

“No,” she said honestly and bent down in a crouch, putting the cigarette out on the curb. “Have you?” 

 

“Once,” he watched her closely - the way she made sure it was out, the small amount of tobacco remaining on the ground before she looked up at the trashcan by the door. “Here,” he offered as she started to stand, taking her arm and helping her up. 

 

“Are they with us all night?” She asked, leaving her arm in his grasp and looking past him at the security guards just to the right.

 

“Perks of the job,” he laughed softly, waving them over. “this is Sinclaire.” 

 

“Hi,” she offered her hand, “are you joining us for dinner?” 

 

“No ma’am, we’ll be elsewhere in the restaurant.” 

 

“Oh,” she frowned, before nodding, “well, are you taking me in Colson?” 

 

“Right this way,” he gave her arm a small tug, leading her towards the door. She threw her cigarette butt in the trashcan by the door and let him pull her in. 

 

**“So,” he started, speaking over the rim of his whiskey** glass before taking a sip and wetting his lips, “what happened after that?” 

 

“We went to this nearby cave,” she was smiling a wide smile that took his breath away. “Stayed for three days before the cops found us.” 

 

“Did they take you home?” 

 

“They did,” she grabbed her margarita in hand taking a long sip, “I was terrified, I thought my father was going to kill me. He wasn’t the nicest man - he was strict and serious....” she swallowed at the memories, taking another drink, “anyway, he was so happy they found us and that we were home he cried.” 

 

“No grounding or anything?” 

 

“Sure I was, so he thought anyway. I was 15 and had the urge to party, I knew how to sneak out.” 

 

“Didn’t diminish over time either,” he laughed finishing his whiskey. 

 

“You’re one to talk,” she rolled her eyes, “ _ ‘if I’m sober slap me.’ _ ”

 

He groaned at her joke, shaking his head, “that’s me but it’s not the  _ real _ me, Sinclaire.” 

 

“I haven’t seen you sober yet,” she countered sitting with her arms on the table. 

 

He watched her relax, she had been much more relaxed after they ordered their drinks and she finished her first one. So comfortable she waved the waitress away and said, ‘we will let you know when we’re ready to order.’ And that was over an hour ago.

 

Her statement caught him off guard, though, and set his empty glass of whiskey down, it was only his second one, “I’m not inebriated right now.” 

 

“Mm,” she hummed quietly leaning into her hand that her chin was resting on. 

 

“Fine, I won’t drink anymore tonight,” he promised before raising his hand, “have you decided yet, Sinclaire?” 

 

“I knew what I wanted the moment I saw the menu,” she smiled across the table at him, “I just find it hard to talk and eat at the same time.” 

 

He laughed, a real laugh. It was loud, and a few people nearby turned to look before quickly glancing away but Sinclaire liked it. A lot. “You are som....” he trailed off as the waitress approached, finally dragging his eyes from her. “Hey, we’d like to order.” 

 

“Of course, what can I get for you?” 

 

“Sinclaire?” 

 

She hummed with the menu in hand offering it to him across the table, “I’d like to have the filet mignon dinner, 4 oz, medium well, and a house salad.” 

 

“Of course, and for you sir?” 

 

Colson took the menu handing them to waitress, “I’ll have the same, 6 oz instead.” 

 

“The cook?” 

 

“Medium and the house salad as well.” Colson glanced across the table at Sinclaire, “I’d also like a tea, please.” 

 

“Oh,” Sinclaire nodded, “I’ll have a glass too,” she held out her almost empty glass for the girl to take. 

 

“Thank you.” The waitress muttered before excusing herself. 

 

“All that wait for a steak.” 

 

“It better be delicious,” she gave him a look of agreement, before a smile. “What are they having?” 

 

“You’re very preoccupied with them,” he mused glancing a few tables over where his crew was sitting and drinking glasses of water. 

 

“How can they ‘protect’ you on an empty stomach?” She teased him again, and something told him this was the real Sinclaire. Not the one that hid behind the mask of drugs and alcohol, or was so nervous she could barely talk. 

 

“They’ll have ordered something,” he promised, reaching out to take her hand. “Tell me more about your childhood?” 

 

“Which part?” She looked down at their hands, watching him slip his fingers through her own. 

 

“Any part.” 

 

She lifted a shoulder, “my mother passed when I was young so my father raised me.” 

 

“You said he was strict?” 

 

“Oh very much, I could hardly do anything right and everything I did was wrong. He meant well, I know that now. Ten years too late.” 

 

“What do you mean?” 

 

She gave his hand a small squeeze before glancing up at him, “he committed suicide when I was 17.” 

 

“Sinclaire, I am so sorry.” 

 

“It’s not your fault or anyone’s fault, unfortunately, it’s a way of life.” She paused before slipping her hand from his hold, “I met you once before... I mean before last night.” 

 

“Did you?” 

 

She nodded slowly, “I was 19 and I ran into you after a show.” She gave a chuckle, her face flushing, “I was so nervous I couldn’t stand up straight and almost passed out. You caught me and I said, ‘I love you. Nice teeth.’”

 

Colson stared at her in shock, his eyebrows raising, “it wasn’t here though, it was uh,” he paused trying to think, “oh, Kansas City?” 

 

“Yeah, I was visiting a friend and we went to your show,” she smiled, “I’m surprised you remember...?” 

 

“You’re the only person that has used ‘nice teeth’ as a compliment, Sinclaire.”

 

“Thank god I was smarter this time around.”

 

“Last night you just made eyes at me.” 

 

“ _ Eyes _ ?” 

 

“Eyes,” he nodded, catching her with a serious look, “they’re hard to miss Sinclaire.” 

 

“Mm,” she looked up at the approaching waitress. “Thank god, I’m starved.” 

 

**They finished dinner slowly, dessert even slower.** It was almost eleven when they were finally approached by the waitstaff asking them to clear out. Sinclaire was standing close to his crew outside as he paid their ticket, a cigarette in hand as she inquired about their families. Or, lack of them as she soon found out. 

 

“I’m sure it’s easier to not have a spouse or children with this lifestyle.” 

 

“Sinclaire?” Colson asked wrapping his arm around her waist. 

 

“Colson,” she answered, finding herself leaning into his touch and looking up at him in question. 

 

“Which one are you?” He asked looking towards the fairly empty parking lot.

 

“Oh,” she shook her head, “I’ll call a cab,” she explained, “I wasn’t planning on having to stay sober.” 

 

He snorted, “you made the comment.” 

 

“I was just saying.” She reached into her purse pulling her phone out and pulling up recent calls.

 

“You didn't save my number?” He quirked a brow, looking down with a point. She laughed while clicking the top number, “or I can take you?” 

 

“I’m supposed to trust you now?”

 

“Do you?” He asked softly, quietly, and she turned towards him hanging up the phone. Her chest pressed against his body, head tilted back and looking up at him. He ran his hand through her hair, his palm cupping her cheek. 

“Just us?” 

 

“Just us,” he promised, bending towards her and his eyes fluttered shut.

 

“Okay,” she answered softly, pressing her thumb to his lips softly. When he opened his eyes in question he found her grinning, “you can take me home.” 

 

Colson chuckled and pulled her closer leading Sinclaire towards his car, “alright, home it is.” 


	4. Golden God Pt. 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/n: Just a lot of smut tbh. ~kiz  
> Warnings: Daddy kink.

**Sinclaire** **was** doing a mental checklist of things in her house, trying to remember if there was anything embarrassing out. The only thing that came to mind besides maybe a few changes of clothes on the bed when she was deciding which dress to wear was the poster of him on her bedroom wall. 

 

It was a gag gift Molly had bought her a few years back, he was fairly naked save the few hands covering his shaft. She had put it up on her bedroom wall and most people got a laugh out of it, she wasn’t entirely sure how the star of the poster would take it though. 

 

It was still surreal she was taking MGK, her longtime celebrity crush, home. Nothing about this made sense to her. 

 

“You okay?” He asked as they approached her door. 

 

“Mm,” she turned her eyes to him, “yeah, I was just going to ask you in for a drink but then I remembered....” 

 

He stared down at her, “I’d like to come in, anyway.” 

 

“Yeah,” she jiggled her keys in hand before moving to open the door, “alright.” She pushed the door of her apartment open, waving him in, “it's not much, but it’s home.” 

 

“Not much?” He laughed, “it's amazing, Sinclaire.” 

 

She chuckled slipping her heels off, using the wall as support, “if you say so.” 

 

“I do say so.” 

 

Sinclaire stood straight once her heels were off, stepping on the carpet with a contented sigh, “the things girls do for men...” she muttered while flexing her toes on her soft carpet before heading into the house.

 

“You didn’t have to get dressed up for me.” 

 

She hummed, turning to face him. “I could have shown up in leggings and a t-shirt?”

 

“Literally.” 

 

“And you wearing a nice outfit yourself...?”

 

He smirked, “care to give me a tour?” 

 

“Of my place?” She asked, reaching out across the small distance and taking his hand, “follow me.” She led him through the kitchen and dining room before she showed him down the hallway, pointing out the bathroom and the spare bedroom that was doubling as an art studio, then she pointed at the closed door, “and my bedroom.” 

 

“Mind if I hit the head?” 

 

“Go on,” she waved her hand, letting him go and headed back towards the kitchen. She was busy sorting her mail when he appeared again, this time music was playing on the loudspeaker and she had the patio door open as she stood next to it with a cigarette in hand. 

 

“It is rather late,” he said while watching her. 

 

Sinclaire peeked at him in question, “that’s not a very subtle way of getting out of here.” 

 

“I wasn’t sure if you’d need me to leave?” 

 

“No,” she lifted a shoulder taking a long drag, “do you need to go?” 

 

“No. All yours.” 

 

She felt herself blush at the words, finally dragging her eyes away and flicking the butt into the metal pail she had on the patio. “Would you like a drink, Colson?” 

 

“Water?” 

 

“Water,” she nodded and walked into the house fully, grabbing them both a glass before getting ice and water from her fridge. “So?” 

 

“So?” He asked, taking the glass and slipping onto the stool at her breakfast bar. 

 

“I was in a 3-year relationship, that ended badly - even after I was everything he wanted, and I’ve been kind of a free spirit ever since.” 

 

He stared at her in question, his eyes opened wide, “uh..?”

 

“I don’t do dates and I most surely don’t bring the guy I made a fool of myself with home.” 

 

“Then why am I here?” He asked seriously, watching her blush. 

 

“And I don’t do sober,” she continued as if he hadn’t asked, her hands on her hips. “I don’t know what’s next, do you tell me I’m beautiful and we end up making out and sleeping together then you sneak out and we move on?” 

 

“Oh...?” 

 

“Or is it like...” she trailed off, staring at him, “I don’t know.” 

 

“Sinclaire, please calm down.” He suggested with a chuckle, “it’s just us in here, I don’t have any expectations.” 

 

“Sure.” 

 

“Hey, I’m serious,” he frowned, “Sin, honestly, why don’t I just go?”

 

She blinked in shock, putting her glass of water on the counter, “oh okay?”

 

“Okay.” He stood up and made towards the door, Sinclaire stood still watching him. “Can I call you tomorrow? I don’t know how long I’ll be in town.” 

 

She reached out for his arm, wrapping her fingers around his wrist and pulling him to a stop. When he turned to face her, he had to be quick to catch her. She pressed herself against his body, her chest against his and her lips hard on his own. 

 

“Don’t leave,” she breathed out her breath against his mouth. 

 

“Okay.” 

 

“Okay,” she closed her eyes and gave him another kiss, this one softer. He pulled her up against his body, wrapping his arms around her waist. 

 

She felt encased in his warmth, his body, but didn’t want anything else. She just wanted him, she just wanted the guy that let her sleep last night, the guy that was going to leave two seconds ago, the guy who called her Sin because he remembered a drunken conversation she had with him last night.  

 

She wanted him all around her, taking all her senses and swallowing her whole. 

 

“Sin,” he breathed, his hand pressing to the wall as she stood on her tiptoes to reach him, her hands sliding through his hair and pulling him towards her. 

 

“Colson,” She whispered her question and his left hand slid up her side before moving to push through her long hair. 

 

“I don’t need this,” he continued, his lips pressed to her neck. “I promise.”

 

“I know,” she gave him a small smile, and rubbed her thumb against his bottom lip, “I want this.” 

 

He groaned softly, shutting his eyes before nipping at the pad of her thumb, giving it a small suck. “Wanting and needing are two very different things,” he smirked at her flush.

 

Sinclaire wrapped her arms around his neck, and he picked her up carrying her down the hallway. 

 

“I have a poster of you on my bedroom wall,” she said suddenly, her dress tight against her legs as they wrapped around his waist. 

 

“Do you?” 

 

She gripped his shoulders tightly when he reached for the bedroom door, “just so you know.” 

 

“Okay,” he laughed, and she kissed his bottom lip, “anything else?” 

 

“No, no, just that,” she felt him reaching for the light switch and the room was suddenly lit up. 

 

“Oh Jesus,” he laughed and she looked over her shoulder, “that’s quite the picture.” 

 

“It’s from your  _ Bloom  _ album.” 

 

“I’m aware.” He looked at her, her eyes turned to the poster. 

 

“I’m not taking it down,” she decided, squealing when he shifted them and dropped her on the bed before he crawled over her. 

 

“That’s fine,” he whispered, “I’m much more interested in you.” 

 

Sinclaire arched against the bed, pressing herself against his chest, “then have me.” 

 

Colson ran his hand down her frame, gripping her hip and grinding against her as she started pulling at his shirt and it wasn’t long before he was bare-chested and his dress jeans were being slid off. She had rolled them over and sat on her knees with her dress pulled up to her hips, tugging them down his legs. 

 

“Sin,” he hissed when she wrapped her fingers around his cock, giving him a slow pull and feeling the weight of him in her hand, “I want you.” 

 

“I want you too,” she answered immediately and he sat up, grabbed her by the upper arms and drug her closer. 

 

“Come here,” he demanded, feeling her straddle his lap. He cupped her thigh, feeling her beneath him and his fingers brushed against her panties before sliding them to the side and touching her. She was a sight to be seen, she bit her lip gasping out a soft moan and he was sold. He wanted to hear that forever, he had been with a few people but never one like Sinclaire. “You’re so wet,” he groaned and she giggled softly, grabbing his hand and bringing it to her lips, wrapping her mouth around his fingers with a soft suck. 

 

Colson nearly came unglued, “Sinclaire,” he breathed and then he felt her hand around him again sliding a condom on before directing him to fill her. 

 

She lifted her hips and pressed herself against him feeling him sliding inside of her with a heavy groan coming from her lips, her left hand gripping at his shoulder and his own hands grabbing at her hips tightly. 

 

“God,” he hissed out, searching for her kiss, one she gave him willingly and that was all it took before they started moving. 

 

He finally unzipped her dress and was pulling it over her head before she pushed him down on her bed, riding him. Her hips grinding against him each time they met his own and Colson was just along for the ride, he gasped out his moans, his hands roaming her body and Sinclaire was in a world of her own, her eyes trained to his watching him drink her up. 

 

It wasn’t long before she was coming, her legs tightened around his hips and she grasped at his arms, at some point relinquishing control and he flipped them over, laying her flat on the bed and fucking her into her own mattress. She hooked a leg up around his waist letting him fill her deeper and that was all Colson needed, he thrust inside of her with a heavy, rough jerk of his hips and met her second orgasm with one of his own. 

 

**When** **he woke the room was dark** , quiet and empty. Colson sat up slowly, glancing around for Sinclaire but she wasn’t there. Messy sheets and their clothing all over the place was all that met him. 

 

He grabbed his phone checking a few of the messages before getting up. He rubbed his eyes and made his way out of the room, pulling the door open he heard music playing somewhere in her house and headed down the hallway, pausing when he realized the noise was coming from the spare room. 

 

He found her folded up in a black chair, her hair in a messy bun and a t-shirt on while holding a paintbrush in her hand. 

 

“Sin?” 

 

She turned around, a paintbrush between her teeth that she pulled out of her mouth in question, “Colson?”

 

“What are you doing?” He asked stepping into the room and peering down at her. 

 

“Working,” she put the paint brushes in a cup of water, “sorry if I woke you?” 

 

“No,” he leaned down, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and giving her a kiss on the neck. “I just woke up and you weren’t there. It’s still late.” He added, glancing towards the open window. 

 

“I couldn’t sleep,” she admitted, her eyes shut as she said it, leaning against his hold. 

 

“Your work is beautiful,” he whispered against her temple.

 

“Thank you,” she glanced down at the painting she was finishing, it was a picture of a young Marilyn Monroe. 

 

“What’s it for?” 

 

She lifted a shoulder, “whoever wants it.” She gave a glance towards the wall where a black holder sat. 

 

“How many have you sold?” 

 

“Of her? Quite a few, I could do them in my sleep.” She teased. 

 

“Speaking of... why couldn’t you sleep?”

 

“I just kept waking up,” she laid her head on his upper arm, kissing the muscle. 

 

“Let me put you back to sleep baby,” he whispered, pulling her from the chair and into his arms, cradling her close. 

 

Sinclaire smiled to herself, feeling him walking her down the hallway back to her room. Once inside the dark room, he laid her on the bed softly crawling in beside her and grabbed the blankets, pulling them up around them.

 

She squirmed once they were tucked in until she was pressed against his chest and had her arm around his torso, her cheek to his side. 

 

“Do this often, Colson?” 

 

“What’s that?” 

 

“Spend a few nights?” 

 

He chuckled, rubbing her back, “not typically. You?” 

 

“Let a guy stay?” She questioned, feeling him nod, “no.” 

 

“Mm,” he ran his hand through her hair, giving her locks a slight tug, “Slim and I are grabbing lunch tomorrow.” 

 

“That’ll be nice.” 

 

“I was asking you to join me.” 

 

“Why would I do that?” 

 

Colson shifted so they could see each other, as best they could in the dark room. “I’d like you there.” 

 

“I have nothing to do with your lunch, Colson.” 

 

“What if I stay a little longer?” 

 

“Think you like me?” 

 

“A little bit,” he gave a nod, “so?”

 

Sinclaire reached up giving him a kiss on the cheek, then chin, then his lips. Soft and slow, her body pressed against his tightly. 

 

“Is that a yes?” 

 

“If I’m awake,” she slid her hands down his side, gripping at his hips, “if not, there’s a key under the second flower pot.” 

 

Colson smiled, watching her as she kissed a trail down his chest, hissing when her teeth bit at his left nipple. “How mad are you going to be when I wake you?” 

 

She winked up at him, “try me.” Her mouth closed on the tight skin just below his ribcage with a hard suck, before continuing down his torso. She felt far away from him, but he was long after all and naked. Very naked she realized when her mouth pressed just beneath his belly button. 

 

Her lips on his skin with a nip and nibble.

 

“I’m trying to,” his voice drifted to her ears and she gave a small laugh, licking his skin to feel him squirm. “God, Sin.” 

 

“That’s an odd statement,” she teased quietly, mouthing at his hip bone and down the curve to his thigh. 

 

He breathed out a laugh, reaching down to run his fingers through her hair pausing when he felt the hair tie. He wrapped two fingers around the band of the hair tie pulling it off slowly and carefully before his fingers finally delved into the messy hair. She nuzzled his hand, the head of his cock pressed against her cheek and he gave a small shake his fingers tightening in her hair just slightly. 

 

She wet her lips before wrapping them around the head of his length, flicking her tongue out against the head of his cock and then pushing him into her mouth not stopping until she felt him fill her mouth and her tongue rubbed along the bottom of his shaft sucking against his cock. 

 

“Sin,” he breathed, halfheartedly his hand pressing to her head but she was in control of this. He knew that she knew that. She pulled back feeling his body tense and pushing him right back in, each time he filled her mouth he let out a loud moan. Until she finally wrapped her hand around his length using her saliva and spreading it down and around his length. She jerked him slowly, her mouth wrapped around the head of his cock. 

 

“Oh,” he whispered, “no, stop,” he asked, grabbing for her and she squirmed away just enough between his legs that he couldn’t reach. “Sinclaire,” he hissed pressing his hands to the mattress to sit up but before he could she pushed him to her throat and he was done. 

 

His cum came out in a hot rope, filling her mouth and throat. Sinclaire gave him some reprieve, and let him fall from her lips her hands pressed to his thigh as she swallowed his load. Colson grabbed her by the arms and jerked her up to his body, pressing her into the mattress, “you don’t listen very well, Sinclaire!” He growled, taking her lips in a hot kiss when she only giggled. 

 

“I’m tired,” she whispered when he finally pulled back. 

 

He looked down at her, cupping her cheek, “I thought you couldn’t sleep?” He asked, brushing his nose against hers. 

 

“I need to if you’re waking me up,” she stretched slightly to peer at her alarm clock, “in less than five hours.” 

 

He followed her look, “we’ll make it dinner.” He decided before lowering his head and kissing her again, wrapping his arm around her waist and picking her up against his body. She wrapped a leg around his waist and he held her in place, “what do you say to that?” 

 

“You’re persuasive.” She muttered, her hand reaching down between them, but he caught her wrist and pinned it above her head. 

 

“Not this time,” he snapped playfully, “I don’t need help finding my way.” 

 

“Oh ho ho.” She smirked but kept her arm where he put it when he let go.

 

Colson kissed her again, “good girl.” He whispered before reaching for a condom. 


	5. Golden God Pt. 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still sure how I'm going to write Casie into this, so bare with minimal details for Daddy Colson. (No double meaning there. I swear *wink*) Be on the lookout for Part 2. Posting the first chapter directly following this one. [No beta ~kiz]

_ October 28th, 2019 0954 _

**C** : Every time I wake up you’re not here. 

**S** : I had to meet up with Molly and you were sleeping. 

**C** : Oh? 

**S** : We’re just getting some weed and she’s scared to go alone. 

**C** : Big bad Sinclaire to put them in their place. 

**S** : If need be. We’re heading back to my place now. 

Make sure you’re dressed Mols is coming in. 

**C** : I’m gonna take a shower, actually. If that’s cool? 

**S** : Yeah I meant to tell you, you smell bad. 

**C** : Ha. Ha. 

**S** : Daddy is welcomed to anything Daddy wants. 

**C** : You’re a tease and I love it.

**S** : Go shower. 

* * *

 

 

**Colson** heard the two girls in the front room when he got out of the shower, Molly telling a story of some sort as he came out of the bathroom caught his attention. 

“Joe was asking about you.” 

“Good for Joe,” he heard Sinclaire answer before the sound of a lighter met him. 

“So, what, you’re just gonna stay locked away from the world now?” 

“Do I look locked away from the world?” 

“You’ve done 27 paintings in two weeks, Sinclaire, the first time I see you in almost three weeks is at a concert you tried to sell your tickets to because you, ‘didn’t want to be around people’.” Colson edged down the hallway quickly, suddenly feeling he shouldn’t be listening to this, but here it was happening, “and then you wake up in the hotel room of Machine Gun Kelly and turned your phone off so I’d leave you alone, Sinclaire! What if some-.” 

“His name is Colson,” Sinclaire interrupted dryly and when he saw her she was laying across her coffee table with her eyes closed and her pipe in hand. 

“That’s all you hav-.. oh! Hey!” 

“Hey,” Colson stood there holding the towel in hand, “where you want this?” 

"I’ll take it,” Sinclaire rolled to her feet quickly, grabbing the towel from him and handing him the pipe, “we have papers if you want to roll a joint.” 

“Oh, this is fine,” he paused giving her a small look, “you okay?” 

“Yeah, be right back,” she said walking down the hallway with his towel in hand and disappeared into her bedroom. 

“I’m Molly, glad to finally meet you.” 

“Yeah,” he gave her hand a shake before sitting on the edge of the seat of the couch, “Colson.” He said before putting the pipe to his lips and taking a hit. 

Molly was staring at him over her laptop, and when he glanced over in question she quickly looked back down at her screen, saying nothing when Sinclaire came back down the hallway.  Colson took in the sight, her hair was down to her waist and wavy, she was wearing a pair of jean shorts and a dark red crop top. She was stunning. 

“Are you almost done?” She asked, picking up a few items around her living room and putting them away before she eased herself in Colson’s lap and took the pipe from him. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Molly gave her answer and shut the laptop, “not like I’m doing it for you or anything.” 

“And I appreciate it,” Sinclaire spoke around the pipe before lightning the end and taking a drag. 

Molly eyed them again as she put her laptop in her bag and Colson remained quiet, watching Sinclaire relax against his chest as she smoked and then without a word more than, “I’ll call you,” Molly was gone and left them to the silence. 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” He asked after a moment, watching her lay the pipe on the side table. 

“Whatcha wanna know?” She turned on his lap, looking at him curiously. 

“I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop or anything Sinclaire, I was just walking down the hallway.”

“And?” 

“The other night you said you just got out of a three-year relationship...?” 

“That’s what you want to talk about?” She lifted an eyebrow, “alright.” 

“You don’t have to tell me anything you know?” 

“Sure,” she gave a short nod and leaned against his arm, shutting her eyes. Her tongue darted out and wet her lips and then she met his look slowly, “it was a three-year relationship that ended rather good, I guess, he still wants to be friends and all that bullshit.” She shrugged, “but it’s hard for me to be his friend because every time I look at him I see everything I don’t have so I lock myself in my house for three weeks and avoid the world because it’s easier than facing reality.” 

Colson swallowed roughly, “we’ve all been there....” 

“Yeah, well apparently it’s a problem.” 

“I don’t think it’s a problem,” he rubbed her arm softly, “everyone handles things in their own way, baby.” 

“Yeah, mine just happened to be three months of partying, followed by three weeks of solitude and alcohol that led me to meet you.” 

“Somethings happen for a reason.” 

“Or some other cliche saying,” Sinclaire chuckled, “how long do you plan on staying with me Colson?” 

“Mm,” this felt safer for some reason, “maybe until you kick me out.” 

“Don’t tempt me.” 

Colson grinned, brushing her hair back, “you’re doing far better than you give yourself credit for.” 

Sinclaire smiles in return, “I can fake it with the best of them,” she said reaching behind her towards the table, this time she grabbed her pack of cigarettes and moved to get off his lap. 

“Mind if I hit the pipe again?” 

“Knock yourself out,” she said before opening the drawer and pulling out a bag, “stuffs in there if you want to roll one.” She added, lighting her cigarette before heading towards the sliding door on her balcony.

* * *

 

colson **@machinegunkelly**   _November 15_

about to ask a big question. send love. 

* * *

 

**Sinclaire** was standing at the stove in a pair of short shorts and a see-through light-weight sweater her phone on speaker in one hand and a spatula in the other. 

“Sin?” Colson called and Sinclaire whipped around waving her hand and shaking her head. 

“Is  _ he _ still there?!” Molly screamed and Sinclaire sighed, her eyes shut with a deep drag in of her breath. “Is that why you said I couldn’t come over?” 

“No,” Sinclaire answered hurriedly, “I said you couldn’t come over because you’re going to annoy me and I don’t want to deal with that.” 

“But you’ll deal with  _ Daddy _ ?” 

Sinclaire flushed and leaned back against the counter, her eyes on Colson as she did. He was smirking at her now. “Can I talk to you later?” 

“Awe,” Molly huffed, “fine, but you owe me.” 

“For my solitude? Great.” Sinclaire snorted, “I’ll talk to you later.” 

“Sure, Bye!” 

“Bye,” Sinclaire hung up immediately, “sorry.” 

“It’s your life I’m disrupting,” he said walking over towards her, wrapping his arm around her waist, “you’re spoiling me again tonight, ya know?” 

“Mm?” 

“I can’t remember the last time I’ve had home cooked meals.” He whispered, kissing her cheek, “I appreciate it.” 

“You’re welcome,” she turned to give him a proper kiss, “what’s the matter?” 

“I have to leave in the next few days...” 

“Well, that’s okay,” Sinclaire chuckled, “why are you upset?” 

“I think I really like you,” Colson answered honestly, watching Sinclaire recoil immediately. “I know, I know, that’s not your thing.”

“It’s just we’ve only known each other three weeks, Colson.” 

“I can’t help how I feel.” 

Sinclaire put the spatula down and grabbed her cigarette pack from the counter, heading towards the balcony sliding door. “So you’re going home, it’s fine. We can still talk, hm?” 

Colson has not expected that answer, “Well, I'd like to,” he shook his head when she offered one to him, “you promise not to ghost me?” 

“I won’t make you a promise I can’t keep,” she said honestly, meeting his look, “but I will promise you I will try.” 

“I’ll take trying.” 

“It’s close to the holidays,” she said after a minute, “your daughter...?”

“My daughter,” he nodded, “will you come to XXMAS in December?” 

“Mm,” she quirked an eyebrow, “I’ll think about it.” 

“I won’t ask you to stay long, just the weekend. I’ll have my daughter, then in January I am overseas.” 

“Colson,” Sinclaire blew out a stream of smoke, “I don’t want to meet your daughter.” 

“Oh.” They hadn’t had any conversation in regards to children or how she even felt about them, or even his daughter. This was the first time it was brought up at all. “Okay, you don’t have to meet her.” 

“And, I’m not taking you away from her.” 

“Okay.” 

“I don’t want to be in her life, Colson.”  He stared at her in silence, letting the words sink in.  Sinclaire flicked her cigarette away, “because I don’t trust myself to give you all my time, I am absolutely terrified of that and that’s not fair to her.” 

He blew out a nervous breath, “I’m not asking you to jump in head first, baby, we can take our time and if things work out you meet her one day. If they don’t, then you don’t meet her.” 

“Okay,” she walked past him back to the stove, “I’ll come to XXMAS. I’m sure Molly will want to go too.” 

“Of course,” he grinned, “I’ll take care of everything.” 

“I can buy tickets, it’s no problem.” She glanced up. 

“Nonsense,” he shook his head, “I’ll get it all taken care of, right now,” he said raising his phone to his ear and making a call, heading out to the balcony. 


	6. GTS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of the Life In The Fast Lane story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A social media chapter: texting and twitter. [No beta ~ kiz]

_January 19th, 2020 0345_

**C** : Hey babygirl.

**S** : Hey.  
How was the flight?

**C** : It was long, but good. Caught up on some sleep.

**S** : Just what you needed.

**C** : Know what I really need?

**S** : Mm?

**C** : You.

**S** : Careful Colson, I’ll think you’re catching feelings.

**C** : Couldn’t have that, could we?

**S** : Might just scare me off.

**C** : How’d you sleep?

**S** : Had the bed all to myself so pretty damn good.

**C** : Rude.  
I miss you.

**S** : You’ll find someone to fill your time soon.  
I’m sure there are plenty of girls throwing themselves at you.

* * *

colson @ **machingunkelly** _January 19_

missing you comes with a pain i hadn’t ever experienced before.

* * *

_January 21st, 2020 0218_

**S** : How was the show?

**C** : Good, we had a good time.

**S** : I’m glad to hear that!

**C** : What’re you up to?

**S** : Painting.  
Gotta pay those bills.

**C** : What if I bought you a ticket to meet me here in Korea?

**S** : Aren’t you going home soon?

**C** : Home isn’t with you, is it?

**S** : I’ll just distract you.

* * *

_January 25th, 2020 0843_

**S** : Have a safe flight Colson!

* * *

colson @ **machinegunkelly** _January 25_

thanks for the fun Korea!

* * *

_January 27th, 2020 2134_

**S** : Hey I haven’t heard from you in a few days, and nothing is on the news... so I assume you’re safe and sound?

* * *

_January 28th, 2020 0756_

**C** : Just been busy.  
Can I call you tonight?

 

_1843_

**C** : Sinclaire?

 

_1938_

**C** : I was kinda locked away from the world for a few days getting my head right.  
It wasn’t you.

 

_January 29th, 2020 0115_

**C** : I’ve left like seven messages and I know this is just getting pathetic but I can’t get you off my mind.

* * *

colson @ **machinegunkelly** _February 1_

you’re my every thought. lemme show you i  could be different?

 

colson @ **machinegunkelly** _February 2_

love man, gets you fucked up. @ **machine_gun_kelly_fan**

 

colson @ **machinegunkelly** _February 2_

might make a surprise trip somewhere...

* * *

_February 4th, 2020 0746_

**C** : I’m just as scared as you, Sin, but I’m trying. Let me try.  
Please?

 

_2358_

**C** : Alright I got the hint. Thanks for everything, babygirl, you’re such a special person and I adore so much about you. I’ll always be here.

* * *

_March 8th, 2020 0145_

**S** : I miss you.

 

_0146_

* **incoming call***

 

* * *

colson @ **machinegunkelly** _March 8_

i think her voice could calm even the wildest storm inside of me.

* * *

Sinclaire Winclaire @ **fortheloveofsin** _March 10_

So I guess I’m in a relationship?

 

Molly @ **mollywolly** _March 10_

@ **fortheloveofsin** ... excuse me?!

 

James @ **jameson** _March 10_

@ **fortheloveofsin** you don’t post for months and then hit me with this???

 

Sinclaire Winclaire @ **fortheloveofsin** _March 10_

@ **jameson** @ **mollywolly**  eyyy.

 

James @ **jameson** _March 10_

@ **fortheloveofsin** does that mean you’re back?

 

James @ **jameson** _March 10_

@ **fortheloveofsin** please tell me it isn’t that Joe guy.

 

colson @ **machingunkelly** _March 10_

@ **fortheloveofsin** who is Joe?

 

Sinclaire Winclaire @ **fortheloveofsin** _March 10_

@ **machingunkelly** no.

 

Sinclaire Winclaire @ **fortheloveofsin** _March 10_

@ **jameson** ig? Txt me tho. Instead of Twitter.

 

James @ **jameson** _March 10_

@ **fortheloveofsin** I’m sorry but why does @ **machinegunkelly** wanna know who Joe is? # _whoisjoe_

 

Sinclaire Winclaire @ **fortheloveofsin** _March 10_

@ **jameson** I’m not having this conversation on Twitter.

 

colson @ **machinegunkelly** _March 10_

@ **fortheloveofsin** why do I wanna know who Joe is tho? also how do you get her to answer your txt @ **jameson** ? # _whoisjoe_

 

Molly @ **mollywolly** _March 10_

@ **machinegunkelly** @ **fortheloveofsin** look at you guys being public. I’m dying.

 

Molly @ **mollywolly** _March 10_

# _whoisjoe_

 

Sinclaire Winclaire @ **fortheloveofsin** _March 10_

@ **mollywolly** not u too?!

 

colson @ **machingunkelly** _March 10_

# _whoisjoe_ # _whoisjoe_

 

Sinclaire Winclaire @ **fortheloveofsin** _March 10_

So I guess I’m single.

 

colson @ **machinegunkelly** _March 10_

Ha ha. i didn’t consent to a breakup. @ **fortheloveofsin** # _whoisjoe_

 

Sinclaire Winclaire @ **fortheloveofsin** _March 10_

Turn off my notifications. Now.

 

colson @ **machinegunkelly** _March 10_

@ **fortheloveofsin** nah.

 

James @ **jameson** _March 10_

@ **machinegunkelly** double txt. always works for me. # _whoisjoe_

  


colson @ **machinegunkelly** _March 10_

i’ve tried that. @ **jameson**

 

James @ **jameson** _March 10_

Multiple calls? @ **machiegunkelly**

 

colson @ **machinegunkelly** _March 10_

@ **jameson** hell yeah.

 

Sinclaire Winclaire @ **fortheloveofsin** _March 10_

@ **machinegunkelly** I answer you all the time Colson.

 

James @ **jameson** _March 10_

Oh shit. That first name. @ **fortheloveofsin** @ **machinegunkelly**

 

Sinclaire Winclaire @ **fortheloveofsin** _March 10_

@ **jameson** you have my notifications on too??

 

James @ **jameson** _March 10_

@ **fortheloveofsin** not every day you’re dating a celebrity.

 

Sinclaire Winclaire @ **fortheloveofsin** _March 10_

@ **jameson** I made a very public breakup.

 

colson @ **machinegunkelly** _March 10_

@ **fortheloveofsin** i have a flight to catch, ya know. to you. don’t play this game with me.

 

Sinclaire Winclaire @ **fortheloveofsin** _March 10_

@ **machinegunkelly** Machine Gun Kelly who?

 

Sinclaire Winclaire @ **fortheloveofsin** _March 10_

Have a safe flight. @ **machinegunkelly**

 

colson @ **machinegunkelly** _March 10_

@ **fortheloveofsin** # _whoisjoe_


	7. GTS Pt. 2

colson @ **machinegunkelly** _March 10  
_When your flight is in but your girl isn’t. 

 

James @ **jameson** _March 10  
_@ **machinegunkelly** she was taking a nap but I woke her up for you she should be there soon 

 

colson @ **machinegunkelly** _March 10  
_Brothers gotta stay together @ **jameson**

* * *

 

_ March 10, 2020 1940 _

**S** : I’m here. Stop tweeting about me. 

 

_ March 10, 2020 1940 _

**J** : I got us a table. Meet you all here.

**S** : brothers?!

**J** : I like him. Lol.

* * *

 

colson @ **machinegunkelly** _March 10_

i’m actually nervous. 

 

Molly @ **mollywolly** _March 10  
_@ **fortheloveofsin** @ **machinegunkelly** you all cute tho. 

* * *

**Sinclaire** looked up at the knock on her passenger door and hurried out of the car, she was only halfway around the back of the car before Colson had her in his arms his bags laying forgotten on the sidewalk. 

“Sin,” he breathed, not at all expecting the kiss she pressed to his lips when he pulled back to look at her but he wasn’t complaining either, and easily picked her up off the ground and held her tightly as they kissed. 

“That kiss is three months past due, Colson.” 

Colson grinned, giving her a softer smooch, “it really is, babygirl.” 

“Our dinner dates are waiting for us,” she sighed after a moment and gave a nod towards his luggage, “I hope you’re hungry.” 

“Starved,” though he didn’t put her down, he held her a moment longer and nuzzled against her neck, “I’ve missed you.” 

“I’ve missed you too,” she ran her fingers through his messy blonde hair, giving the locks at the back a slight tug, “c’mon.” 

“Alright, alright,” he finally put her on her feet and she grabbed the trunk of her CR-V while he grabbed his three bags and tucked them inside. “Where we going?” 

“Someplace James likes.” 

“Ah,” he tucked himself into the passenger seat, “my jeans and hoodie okay?” He asked as she climbed into the driver seat, eyeing her dress. 

“Yeah, you’ll be fine,” she grinned over before pulling a hand through her long dark hair and starting her car, “how was the flight?” 

“Good, went well.” He couldn’t take his eyes off of her, she was exactly how he remembered but better. Everything was better. “You’re so beautiful,” he said after a moment and reached out for her hand, wrapping his fingers through her right hand as she juggled the steering wheel so she could drive with her left. 

“Mm,” she hummed, driving down the road, with a small smile, “I’m glad you could come, Colson.” 

“Always.” 

“Don't make a promise you can’t keep,” she muttered without glancing over but his eyes were locked to her and that was all he needed. 

“So I’m meeting James?” 

“And Molly, again.” She sighed, giving his hand a slight squeeze. “I’m just sorry in advance.” 

“No need to be sorry,” he laughed, dragging her hand to his lips and giving the back a soft kiss, “I’m just happy I’m here.” 

“We could skip dinner....” She suggested and gave him a sideways glance as she took an exit off the highway. 

“No, it’s okay. I’m intrigued.” He laughed when she rolled her eyes.

“Fine, fine,” she said pulling up to the restaurant and parking her car, “your world Colson.” 

“Doubt it,” he winked and released her hand, hurrying out and around to her side, catching the door as she opened it. Then he reached in and grabbed her hand to help her out.

“My purse is in the backseat,” she added as she straightened her dress, “and I’m smoking a cigarette before we go in.” 

“Okay,” he smiled again, she was everything he remembered. But better. 

* * *

***video of Sinclaire doing three shots, then swiping his and doing it as well***

***photo of Sinclaire sitting on Colson’s lap***

***photo of Sinclaire’s back, reaching for Colson’s hand***

 

**machinegunkelly** how’d i get to be so lucky? 

 

* * *

_ March 11, 2020 0956 _

**M** : Did you see his post last night on Insta? 

**S** : I just watched it after my shower. 

**J** : I think he likes you a lot. 

**S** : It’s probably a good thing I like him too.

**J** : He was really sweet. Like totally different then I thought he would be. 

**S** : Yeah he’s an alright guy. 

**M** : He cute too.  
Like, damn girl.  
I can’t even deal with it. 

**S** : He really hit it off with you, James. 

**M** : Okay we can skip talking about how hot he is. 

**S** : I know how hot he is, Molly, I’m the crazy fangirl remember? 

**J** : I think you’re far from crazy. 

**S** : Not too damn far. 

**M** : Okay I’m heading over after I shower.  
I’ll txt you before I leave. 

**S** : Why are you coming over? 

**M** : We are taking pictures of your recent paintings?? 

**S** : Oh, right. Okay, yeah I’ll get dressed. 

**J** : Can I come too? 

**S** : I don’t care. 

* * *

**Colson** woke to a lingering smell of weed and a high pitched laugh that he was fairly sure wasn’t Sinclaire’s. He glanced up at the clock on her bedside table and found it was just past 11 in the morning as he got out bed, taking half a second to grab a pair of shorts and pull them on. He opened the door and found paintings leaning against the wall, followed with another high pitched laugh and Sinclaire’s disapproving tut.

“This is why I never smoke with you,” he heard her growl and peeked around the corner finding Molly sitting in front of a painting and Sinclaire with her hair pulled back in a braid, one of his favorite crop tops on and her pipe in hand as she took a deep hit, kicking at Molly, “take the picture!” She whined while blowing out her smoke and then took another hit and put her pipe down on her coffee table. 

“I am, I am!” 

“And be quiet Colson is sleeping.” Sinclaire sighed again, before turning to grab another painting as Molly finally got to work. A small gasp leaving her lips as Colson met her eyes, “oh I’m so sorry she’s so fucking loud.” 

“That’s okay, the weed woke me up.” 

Sinclaire chuckled, “ _ ‘slap me if I’m sober. _ ’”

He groaned loudly, before wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close for a hug and kiss, “will you ever stop with that?” 

“Nah, I’m good,” she kissed his cheek, “you can grab my pipe if you want. I have to get another painting and  _ she _ doesn’t get any more.” 

“Okay,” he dropped his arms, letting her pass, before walking into the front room, grabbing her pipe and sitting on the couch. 

“Oh!” Molly gushed suddenly, dropping her camera, “good morning Colson!” 

“Molly stop yelling or I’m going to smack you,” Sinclaire said, carrying in a large painting and setting it up on the easel. 

“Sorry, sorry,” she whispered dramatically, “she’s so bitchy in the morning.” She added to Colson, who instead of saying anything took a hit. 

Sinclaire pointed at the picture, “last one, hurry up.” 

“Did you show Colson his yet?” James asked from the chair, glancing over. 

“Shut up.” 

“My what?” 

“She’s working on a painting for you, it’s a portrait,” Molly explained, finished with the pictures now she dropped back down to the floor. 

“I want to see it!” Colson said suddenly, moving to get up, but Sinclaire stopped him in his tracks with a quiet, ‘later’.

“I haven’t even seen it,” Molly said with a shrug, ignoring their interaction, “she’s being very stingy with it.” 

“Later,” Sinclaire said again to Colson, before grabbing her laptop from the charger in the kitchen and setting it up for Molly, “here Mols.” 

“Thanks,” Molly grabbed the laptop and put it on the tabletop of the coffee table that Sinclaire was sitting her feet on as she relaxed back against Colson and took the pipe from him. 

“No,” Sinclaire rolled her eyes before taking a hit, “after you finish,” she added once she blew her smoke out and put her pipe on the side table reaching over Colson. 

Molly huffed but quieted down.

“So you’re painting me?” Colson asked, wrapping his arm around her bare midsection, sprawling his fingers against her stomach. 

“Mm,” she nodded, “I finished it the other night. It’s a set.” 

“I’m dying to see it.” 

“It’s yours to take,” she promised and kissed the muscle of his arm, “are you hungry?” 

“I wanted you,” he whispered against her ear and felt her blush before she squirmed within his hold and crawled up on his lap, “I mean, yeah I can eat.” 

“What do you want?”

“Options?” 

Sinclaire stared down at him with a chuckle, trailing her finger along his stubble, “I have bacon and eggs, I remembered how much you liked that.” 

“That sounds amazing,” he winked, nipping at her finger when she drug it down his lip, “ _ you _ sound even better.” 

“We have guests, Colson,” she scolded playfully and took him by the chin before dropping her head and giving him a hard kiss on the lips. 

“Just us tonight?” 

“Just us for the next two weeks,” she promised and gave him another kiss, “I’ll cook,” she paused as she stretched, “Molly, James you guys hungry?” 

“God, yes,” Molly groaned.

“I’ll help,” James smiled, jumping out of the chair and joining her. 

* * *

* **photo of bacon, eggs, and toast***

**machinegunkelly** get you that homecooked girl.


	8. GTS Pt. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/n: Alright sexy Sinclaire and soft!Colson with DD/lg play. Enjoy! ~kiz

**Sinclaire** looked down the hallway from her TV when she heard the door open, peering across the short distance as Colson came into view. 

“You and your not sleeping,” he frowned before quickly crawling over her and laying his head on her chest. 

“You and your nakedness,” she whispered, running her fingers through his hair, her nails softly scraping at his scalp soothingly. 

“Mm,” he whispered with a sleep-heavy voice, shutting his eyes and soon she was greeted by his heavy breathing and she knew he was asleep again. 

She grabbed her phone off the side table behind her and snapped a picture of them together, Colson laying against her chest and a small smile on her lips. She had received a lot of hate messages and ‘who r u?’s’ from Twitter lately. So much that she had to turn off her dm’s, she hadn’t said anything but it was definitely something she wasn’t sure she wanted to deal with. But this? Right then? She was happy, she was ecstatic and she couldn’t remember the last time she felt this type of happiness.  

Sinclaire opened her Twitter app and pressed for a new post,  _ I’m going to do this.  _

* * *

Sinclaire Winclaire @ **fortheloveofsin** _March 12_

@ **machinegunkelly** you save me. 

* **attached picture of Colson sleeping on her, Sinclaire smiling.***

* * *

**Sinclaire** woke later in the morning when she felt Colson shifting, his legs stretched off the couch before he fell with a loud, “oh fuck!” 

Sinclaire bolted upright looking around, scared as she grabbed for anything to protect her. 

“It’s okay, I’m alright,” he said from the ground, orienting her before he raised up and gave her a cheeky smile, “it’s okay Sin.” 

“S-Sorry,” she rubbed at her eyes and he stood, “can we go to my real bed?” 

“Of course,” he bent down and scooped her up, holding her tight as he walked down the hallway to her room, “I meant to ask this morning but Molly was here..” 

“Hm?”

“Where did the poster go?” 

“Oh,” she pointed once she was laying down, back towards the door, “in my art studio.” 

“Did you use it as a reference?” 

“A bit,” she nodded, grabbing at her sheet and throwing it over herself, “I’ll show you in the morning.” She added before patting the bed next to her. “I’m sleepy.” 

“Finally,” he cooed and crawled in next to her, wrapping his arm around her side and pulling her close, “I like sleepy Sin.” 

“Why?” 

“She’s cuddly,” he whispered, kissing her neck. “And sexy.” 

Sinclaire stretched her legs out, laying them over his own, before half laying back against his chest, “she’s yours.” 

“Goodnight babygirl.” 

“Good night Colson,” she murmured, shutting her eyes as his fingers brushed up and down her side softly. 

 

* * *

colson @ **machinegunkelly** _March 12_

i believe you saved me first babygirl. @ **fortheloveofsin**

* * *

**“Baby** ,” Colson whispered in shock, staring down at the large canvas before him. “This is amazing.”

“I’m glad you like it,” she stood with her arms crossed against her stomach beside him.

“I love it,” he shook his head and crouched down to get a better look, “I am just blown away, I can’t even think of words to say...” 

**** Sinclaire laughed softly, letting out a nervous breath, “it’s for you.” 

**** “Are you sure?” He looked up with a playful smile, “don’t want to keep this one for yourself it is quite...” he trailed off watching her blush, “ _ detailed _ .” 

**** “I have the memories,” she answered dryly, ignoring her red face. 

**** Colson reached up, wrapping an arm around her waist and quickly jerking her down to his level, catching her in his lap. “We haven’t made any memories yet...” 

**** “Colson,” Sinclaire smiled, “are you taking me back to Cleveland with you?” 

**** He blinked in question, he had not been expecting that, “do you want to come back to Cleveland with me?” 

**** She lifted a shoulder, “why not?” 

**** “I would love it,” he gave her a serious look, “honestly, I would love it.” 

**** “I could see your world for real this time....” she chuckled, rubbing her neck as she talked, “if you want me to see it, I mean.” 

**** “Of course I do!” He kissed her on the cheek, “whenever you want to go, baby.” 

**** “I’ll go home with you when you leave?” She suggested, “if we survive 12 more days.” 

**** “What do you mean if we survive?” He laughed softly, pulling his fingers through her hair.

**** “Just what I said,” she moved with his hand, nuzzling his warm palm before their eyes met again and suddenly words weren’t enough.  

**** He moved to lay her down on the floor, his body hot against hers and she shifted to wrap her legs around his waist, “right here in my art studio?” 

**** “I want you now.” Was his only answer as hungry hands took to her body, his mouth moving along her neck and shoulders. 

**** “Then have me, Daddy,” she hissed when he nipped her collarbone.

**** Colson groaned softly, grinding down against her thigh, “oh shit, condoms.” 

**** Sinclaire gave a quiet whine, “did you not bring any?” 

**** “It’s not like I have them on reserve, Sin,” he laughed, “I’ll be right back, I’ll run to the gas station down the street.” 

**** “Mm,” Sinclaire shook her head, “we can do other things and get them later?”

**** “You’re so sexy,” he breathed out, his mouth hovering over her own and their eyes locked, “mine.” 

**** “Yours,” she agreed, her hand slipping down his bare chest. He had only bothered to put on a pair of boxers when they finally got out of bed after noon and Sinclaire needed nothing more than to shift before her hand slipped beneath them. 

**** “Don’t tease me,” he warned, as her fingertips danced over his length, watching her chuckle. “I’m serious Sinclaire.” 

**** “I can tell,” she pressed up against him, still wearing the same crop top from yesterday which he was pushing up against her shoulders and mouthing at her chest, his tongue tracing her right breast before wrapping his lips around her nipple with a hard suck. Sinclaire arched against the floor, feeling his cock brush against her bare thigh.

**** “I’ve missed you,” he grunted when she finally wrapped her hand around him, giving him a long, tight pull and rubbing the head of his cock against her skin. 

**** “Should have brought condoms, Daddy,” she shrank right before him and he picked her up, close against his body before getting to his knees and then to his feet, “where are you taking me?” 

**** “Back to bed so I can run down the street to get some.” He said matter-of-factly, walking her down the hallway, having to stop and swat her hand away as she gave him another long pull. 

**** “I’m on birth control...?” She suggested as she saw her messy bed coming into view. 

**** “Is that okay?” He asked seriously, nudging her cheek with his nose so she would look at him. “This once?” 

**** “I’ll make the exception just for you,” she nodded, giving him a curious look, “if you’re okay with that?” 

**** “I’ll make an exception for you,” he teased as he laid her on her mattress, quickly crawling on top of her and taking her face in his hands with a hard kiss. Sinclaire wrapped around his body tightly, rubbing against his length and Colson reached down between them grabbing her panties by the waist and pulling them down. She didn’t bother unfolding her legs from his own and he didn’t bother fighting her on it, instead, he let them sit on her knees before rubbing himself between her legs. 

**** He was on his knees and pressing the head of his length against her, before pushing in slowly. Sinclaire gasped out a moan, her legs finally falling from his waist and he pushed her panties the rest of the way off - which she didn’t even notice, before pushing in fully. 

**** “Ahh,” she breathed out when his hips met her own, sliding her legs open against the bed. Colson pressed his hand to her thigh, his fingers tight on the skin as he pulled her closer and rocked up against her. 

**** “God,” he moaned, meeting her with a fast thrust each time he pulled out, his left thumb dancing over her clit as she tightened around his length and pulled him right back in. 

**** They were in sync, it was the never-ending pleasure they both felt. His hands rough around her body, her nails scratching at his arms and her thighs against his own as he met her with every thrust. She never wanted it to end, it was all she could do to hold on until he kissed her on the lips and met her lust filled eyes with hungry eyes of his own, “cum.” He demanded and she did, her moan sang out around the sunlight filled room, her body shook against his own and her lips found his. 

**** Colson gasped out a breath when she finally pulled away, picking her up against his body as he fell back on his ass and sat her on his lap, “does Daddy want me to ride him?” She breathed out, her breath coming in shallow pants as she pressed her knees to the bed and did just that without an answer from him. 

**** “God yes,” was all he said, grabbing at her waist and helping up and down his length. 


	9. GTS Pt. 4

 

colson @ **machinegunkelly** _March 12_

I wish time would stop and we could stay here forever. 

* **photo of a sleeping Sinclaire pressed against his chest with a shared sheet thrown over their bodies***

 

James **@jameson** _ March 12  _

Is that why @ **fortheloveofsin** isn’t answering my txt @ **machinegunkelly** ?

 

colson @ **machinegunkelly** _March 12_

guilty. she’s all mine rn. @ **jameson**

 

* * *

**Colson** was lounging across the couch watching the TV on silent and listening to some song he didn’t know drifting from the spare room where Sinclaire had been holed up since 4 am. He liked this dynamic far too much to be bothered by the fact it was now almost 2 in the afternoon, he liked her working and him being in her space to be annoyed they hadn’t done anything, but each other, for the past two days. 

They worked well together. 

But he couldn’t deny the fact he was excited to take her home in 2 days, in 2 days they would be in his world and he wanted her there just as much as he wanted to be in hers. He was pretty sure he was dangerously close to falling in love with Sinclaire and he was more than okay with that. 

She was worth the wait, she was worth everything he could possibly desire. 

He had a feeling she was working through a playlist when one of his own songs came on. She had skipped the others the moment they started, but this one the beat was playing and he peeked away from the TV and towards the hallway in question. He hadn’t been sure it was his song at first, just the sound of rain met his ears but then the familiar beat played with a soft,  _ ‘raaaaaiiiin’ _ coming through. It was an old song, one he didn’t tend to think about at first glance when looking at her. She had let slip a few songs she enjoyed or made references to and they were all his much more rap based songs but then again she was letting this one play. 

_ See My Tears _ . 

If he wasn't mistaken he heard it grow louder just before his rap came in and Colson stood up, walking down the hallway. He stopped at the door, it was cracked open and he peered in to find Sinclaire leaning back against the far wall, sitting on the ground and her arms laying crossed against her knees with her phone in hand. 

He paused, about to knock, when he heard it. She was singing along with the song. Softly, the melodic, “ _ raaaaain.”  _

He hadn’t ever heard her sing before, she avoided it around him at all cost. Didn’t even hum, despite the numerous times Molly would say, “she loves this song.” Sinclaire never gave in, not once. But this was different. 

It was soft, barely audible over the music that was playing and then it was his rapping. On her speakers. 

“ _ Everyday I wake up, to the same shit, in the same house, with the same bricks, in the same clothes, with the same kicks. Might as well be in jail, caged in. _ ” 

But, it was more than him rapping, it was Sinclaire with her eyes closed, relaxed against the wall rapping along with him. 

Colson felt his heart swell at the sight, a small smile breaking out across his face. This was her, in her element. Her oblivious to the fact he was even there, this was her inspiration that fueled her art.  _ See My Tears.   _

Colson gave the door a quick knock and she glanced over in question before quickly pressing pause on her phone and jumping up, heading over to the door to pull it open. 

“It’s been nearly 12 hours,” he said by way of greeting.

Sinclaire glanced down at her phone in question before lifting an eyebrow, “holy shit.” 

“How much longer so I have to entertain myself?” He teased, watching her blush. 

“I didn’t realize,” she breathed, opening the door fully and heading over to her desk to put her paintbrush in a cup of water. 

“Can I see?” 

“If you’d like,” she wiped her hand against her leg, she was wearing just a pair of panties and an oversized t-shirt that was covered in paint. “It’s a storm scene.” 

“It looks intense,” he murmured, “I like it.” 

“Thank you,” she wrapped her arms around him from behind, pressing her forehead against his back with her hug.

“Are you okay, Sin?” 

“I’m fine,” she pressed her lips to his back, kissing him over his shirt, “are you okay, Colson?” 

“Perfect,” he rubbed her arm, unclasping her hands and turning to face her. Sinclaire leaned into his chest, “do you still want to go to that party tonight?” 

“Party tonight?” 

“James...?” 

Sinclaire made a face, “oh, that thing.” 

“We don’t have to.” 

“James is sensitive, we do have to,” she laughed, “it’ll be fine, though, his parties are pretty lowkey.” She tilted her head back, resting her chin on his chest, “I should shower.” 

“Need help?” He smiled as he asked, running his hand down her back. 

“No,” she stuck her tongue out, “I need to shave my legs.” 

“Don’t stick your tongue out at me,” he scolded, catching her by the chin. 

“Mm,” she wiggled her eyebrows, “that sounds like a demand, Daddy.” 

“It is a demand, babygirl.” 

Sinclaire laughed softly, melting in his hold, “give me ten minutes to myself,” she whispered before stepping away and hurrying to the bathroom. 

* * *

**Sinclaire** was pretty far gone when Colson finally got away from James and a few of his friends, he had heard her scream out a laugh of some sort across the house and was looking for her, shocked to find her standing on top of the table with a shot in her hand, doing a countdown for the few people crowded around her. 

“3, 2, 1!” They all chanted and downed the shot in unison, Sinclaire licked her lips before taking a drink passed to her from one of the guys standing there. 

Colson didn’t like that too much, if he was honest, anything could have been in the drink and he made a move right over to the table, reaching up to grab the cup. Sinclaire’s pout met him and he nearly melted on the spot, “mine,” she whined, grabbing for it again. 

“I’ll get you one,” he promised, “why don’t we get off the table?” 

“But, we’re dancing,” she frowned, talking over the music, her and another girl were standing there. Sinclaire not dancing now as she was talking to him. 

“You can dance on the ground?” He suggested and watched her face light up. 

“Dance with Daddy?” She called over the music, Colson gave a nod hearing a few of the others around them chuckling, but none of them seemed bothered by her like this and he couldn’t help but think back to his first visit. Hell, to when he first met her. She had been tripping over herself she was so drunk. “Dance, dance, dance,” she was chanting as she climbed on Colson’s back and wrapped her arms around him, letting him walk her away from the table. He paused to pour the drink down the sink before throwing the cup away, then he felt Sinclaire tug on the collar of his shirt. 

“Hm?” 

“I want a margarita.” She half-whispered against his ear, “since you threw mine away.” 

“I don’t know that guy,” he huffed and set about pouring her a drink. He held back on the tequila and poured more mixer in with the ice before handing it to her, “this one is safe and sound, I made it myself.” 

“Mm, such a good Daddy,” she wrapped her lips around the straw and took a big drink, before relaxing against his back, “I’m drunk.” 

“I’m aware,” he smiled to himself, grabbing a beer before he headed back to where the party was more prominent. 

“Sin I got your song on next,” some guy said when they walked back into the crowded living room, waving an iPod from across the room. 

“What song?” 

“I have no idea,” she said honestly, seeming to think about it, and then she was climbing off his back. Colson wrapped his arm around her shoulder and she pressed her back against his front, shimmying her hips in beat with the music. “Probably one of your songs,” she added, flushing. 

Colson smiled, “I like that.” He winked down at her, pressing a kiss to her forehead. 

Sinclaire rolled her eyes, leaning back against him and tilting her head up to give him a proper kiss. She tasted like tequila and weed, he found and pulled back glancing around for a blunt. He hadn’t seen her smoke earlier, so he figured it must have been when he was talking with James. 

Sinclaire sucked her margarita down and moved to put the empty cup on the table beside them before she was pressed against Colson again, “we could leeeeeeeave?” 

“I don’t think we’re going anywhere tonight, baby,” he answered, bending so he could talk over the music. 

Sinclaire pouted again, wrapping her arm around his neck and pressing her palm to his back, “but I want youuuu.” 

Colson smiled and took her face within his hold, he pressed his lips to hers softly, Sinclaire was sliding her tongue against his lips when the song that kid had claimed was hers started. Colson knew it immediately, “you never cease to surprise me.” He laughed, watching her blush. 

“Shut up,” she growled, slapping at his arm. 

_ “Bitch I’m from the land till I die,” _ he whispered along with himself over the speakers, against her cheek, _ “on the east side till I die, bumpin’ that bone thugs till I die, in the hood I’m good till I die... CLE till I die.”  _

Sinclaire was blushing, and pulled back shaking her head, “lemme hear you?” He teased, watching her bite her lip. 

“I don’t know it.” 

“I find that hard to believe, seeing as they called it  _ your _ song.” 

“I have a lot of songs,” she covered her face, but started nodding her head in time with the song, “so we could sneak away?” She tried to change the subject, squealing when Colson pulled her closer, “or we could dance.” 

“Dance,” he agreed, feeling her grind against his waist.

_ “Everybody in the team eatin’, green meals, green leaves at the Green Season, Catch me on Lee, up at Sharks eatin’. Whippin’ with the hot sauce like I’m street leaguin’....” _ Sinclaire stopped singing along suddenly, remembering herself and she looked away, anywhere but at Colson which was when her eyes fell on Molly who was wrapped around a tall guy Sinclaire didn’t know. 

“Ah, why’d you stop?” He teased, bending down and kissing her ear. 

Sinclaire nodded across the room, towards Molly, “who is that guy?” 

“I don’t know,” Colson answered immediately, realizing their teasing was done. Both interrupted by James holding out a blunt and pressing it to Sinclaire’s lips immediately. 

She opened her mouth and reached up, taking a hit and keeping the blunt in hand, “who is that guy?” 

“Some guy from work,” James said, making way to grab for the joint but Sinclaire shook him away and pulled another drag from it, “Sin, share.” He whined when she slapped him again. 

“Get your own,” she answered him, taking another hit and then passed it up to Colson, who was smiling down at his girl. “I need another drink,” she added, “be right back.” She promised, before slinking away before Colson could even follow her and that left him with James again. 

He followed her with his eyes, passing the joint back to James who was talking about someone they just kicked out, Colson was less than interested in the fact as he watched Sinclaire pouring her drink - he noticed it was mostly tequila. 

“She drinks heavy,” James said after a moment, catching Colson’s attention. 

“I’ve noticed.” 

“She said she met you at a bar, after your show?” 

“Yeah, she was pretty drunk when we left.” 

“You guys can stay,” James offered after a moment, “I have a spare room upstairs.” 

“That’d probably be best,” Colson agreed, seeing Sinclaire making her way back to him, “I might try to take her up there in a bit.” 

“Yeah she’s crossfaded,” James gave a nod, watching Sinclaire bump into someone, “it’s the last door on the left.” 

“Alright thanks,” Colson chuckled, and reached forward catching Sinclaire, “hey beautiful, wanna go upstairs?” 

“Finally,” she gushed, speaking around the straw in her mouth and giving him a look, “you don’t mind Ja-.” She cut off when he realized he wasn’t there anymore, “oh.” 

“He told me about it,” Colson explained, hooking his arm around her waist and pulling her towards the stairs, “can you walk up the stairs?” 

“You can carry me?” She asked after eyeing them a moment, Colson chuckled and bent down pulling her into his arms, careful not to spill her already half-empty drink. “I’m drunk,” she sighed, laying her head against his arm as he carried her up the stairs. 

“You didn’t eat hardly anything today,” he chided quietly, walking her down the hallway. 

“I should have had more food,” she said after a moment, turning her eyes to his, “can we leave, leave?” 

“No, I don’t think so,” he pushed the door open and found it had the bare necessities of a spare room when he flipped the light on. “Do you want something to eat?” 

“Oh,” she pouted, as he sat her on the side of the bed. “I just want youuuu.” 

“Not tonight, baby,” he brushed her hair back, “you’re drunk.” 

“But Colson,” she huffed, “I give you all my consent.” 

“I know, I know,” he crouched down, smiling, “let's get ready for bed, it’s late.” 

“What time is it?” 

“Uh,” he paused and looked at his watch, “almost 4 in the morning.” 

“Oh,” she whispered and sat her now empty cup on the bedside table, “okay Daddy, bedtime.” 

“Yes, bedtime,” he whispered, pushing her to lay down after she kicked her heels off he pulled the covers up around and tucked her in. He crawled up the other side and laid down, pulling her back against his chest, “good night beautiful.” 

“Good night,” she whispered, shutting her eyes. 

* * *

**Sinclaire rolled over** with a quiet groan, freezing when she felt an arm around her waist. She hated this part, waking up. Waking up to see who she had been with, what she had done. 

“Babygirl?” His question met her ears and she raised up quickly, letting out a nervous breath. “You okay?” 

“Colson,” she shut her eyes relaxing slightly at the familiar voice, leaning against him, “I don’t feel so good.” 

“What do you need?” 

“I don’t know,” she groaned quietly, throwing her arm over her eyes. 

“Food? Shower? Medicine?” 

“A cigarette,” she said after a moment, moving slowly and getting up, “want one?” 

“Nah,” he watched her climb to her feet and look around.

“I must have left them downstairs,” she whispered. 

“Do you want me to go with you?” 

“If you want,” she ran a hand over her dress, smoothing it, before she pulled her hair up in a high messy bun, “I’m cold.” 

He held up his jacket he had taken off before they fell asleep and slipped it around her shoulders, “mm, you look good in it.” He smiled as she zipped it up, it rested bunched up around her hips and showcased her ass. 

“Thank you,” she blushed, grabbing for his hand and pulling him closer before getting the door and edging out. “I wish we would have gone home last night,” she was saying as they made their way down the hallway, hand and hand, arm to arm. 

“I know, you were pretty persistent about that.” 

“I hate waking up at parties,” she took the stairs quickly, bouncing down them before pausing at the living room floor and looking around, “ah, there they are,” she walked over to the couch and grabbed her purse from beside it, grabbing her pack of smokes from inside and then heading towards the front door, “out here,” she explained and Colson followed. 

She wrapped her arms around herself after lighting the smoke, taking a deep drag, “was I bad last night?” 

“I don’t know how you normally are...?” They hadn’t partied together since the night they met. 

“Well, what did I do?” 

“I don’t know what led to it because I was talking with James but you were dancing on the table when I found you and accepting drinks from some guy.” 

Sinclaire frowned, “yeah I do that when I’m drunk.” 

“I noticed,” Colson chuckled, “but I saved the day.” 

“Did you?” 

“I threw the drink out and made you a new one,” he winked, “we danced together, you rapped one of my songs for me and then I took you to bed.” 

“I....” She blushed brightly, “I’m sorry I subjected you to that,” she whispered, shaking her head. 

“It was really cute, you should subject me to it more often.” 

“Mm,” she rolled her eyes, taking another drag, “if you say so.” 

“I do, I liked it.” 

“I want lunch,” she reached for his arm, pulling it towards her to look at the time, “are you hungry?” 

“We haven’t had anything since lunch yesterday,” he chuckled, “a little bit.” 

“I should feed you more often, I’m sorry,” she frowned. 

Colson shrugged, cupping her cheek and smoothing the frown lines with his thumb, “I could speak up if I’m hungry.” 

“Well, do that,” she leaned against his hand and smiled, “we leave tomorrow.” 

“I know, look at us surviving 14 days together.” 

“Heh,” she winked, “I knew we could do it.” 

“Did you?” 

“I was hoping we could.” 


	10. See My Tears

Sinclaire Winclaire @ **fortheloveofsin** __March 22  
Heading to Cleveland!  
* **attached photo of runway***

 

colson @ **machinegunkelly** __March 22  
Heading back home with @ **fortheloveofsin  
** * **attached picture of Sinclaire on the plane with her phone in hand***

* * *

**Colson** nudged Sinclaire awake from the seat next to him watching as she came to, before finally meeting his eyes. “Good evening beautiful,” he chuckled as she sat back from his shoulder she had been leaning against, “time to buckle up.” 

“Oh we’re almost there?” 

“About to start the descent,” he nodded and watched her pull the buckle around her lap, “how was your nap?” 

“Pretty good,” she smiled, running her fingers through her long dark hair, “did you sleep any?” 

“Nah, I was reading,” he held up the comic book he had in hand, “I’m excited for you to see my home town.” 

“Me too.” 

“Do I get to take you out one day?” 

“If you want,” she glanced over. “What do you have in mind?” 

“Mm, it’ll be a secret,” he promised before leaning towards her and giving her a kiss, “but I know you’ll love it.”  

“Well, okay,” she gave him a quick kiss before sitting back in her seat and grabbing his hand, “I hate flying.” She whispered as the plane started its descent. 

“I know, we’re almost there babygirl.” He promised, smoothing his thumb over the top of her hand. 

“Almost, almost,” she sighed softly, relaxing when he drug his thumb over her skin. “What time is it?” 

“It’ll be 7 pm, why?”

“Hungry,” she answered softly, “please tell me I can eat something?” 

“Of course we can,” he laughed, shaking his head. Secretly happy she was hungry, her dining schedule was weird and he noticed she lived on circular time. She did everything when she was ready and barely ever kept to a schedule. With her sleep, with her work, and with her eating habits. 

The plane was evening out now and Sinclaire let out a deep breath she had been holding, resting her head against the headrest and shutting her eyes as she braced herself for the bump on the runway, the second she didn’t tense as bad and the third she finally opened her eyes again. 

“Here,” she said quietly as the plane came to a stop and looked at Colson with a grin, “your world, Colson.” 

“All mine,” he agreed. 

* * *

Sinclaire Winclaire @ **fortheloveofsin** _March 23  
_ Cleveland is a bit too cold if you fucking ask me. Which no one did. But I’mma say it anyway. 

 

colson @ **machinegunkelly** _March 23  
_ happy to be home, even happier to have my girl with me. 


	11. See My Tears Pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's back! I've been so busy with work that I haven't had time to update the story but here it is :) ~kiz

 

* * *

colson @ **machinegunkelly** _March 24_

showing her my world. 

* **attached picture of Sinclaire standing in the middle of a studio with a headset on***

* * *

**Sinclaire** was searching the house party they were at for Colson, he had been drug away from her almost the moment they walked in the door by Slim who had warmed up to her pretty quickly once they got off the plane. 

She hadn’t realized they were going to a party after they left the recording studio, and she felt quite underdressed. All the other girls were in dresses and heels and she was wearing her leggings and a crop top with her hair pulled back in a long ponytail.  She gave up looking for him and grabbed a beer before heading outside. Not that outside was much better, it was chilly and she quickly migrated towards the fire pit a few of the guys were messing with as she lit her cigarette. 

“Hey,” one greeted her when she didn’t say anything. 

“Hey,” she nodded, taking a sip of her beer and glancing towards the door. “How do you guys stand being out here?” 

“It’s less hectic,” another answered. “Less girls.” 

“Oops,” she chuckled when he laughed, “sorry to wreck your sausage fest.” 

“Ouch, ouch,” he placed a hand over his heart, “those girls get annoying.” 

“It’s always the same ones,” another of the guys chimed in. 

“Been there done that?” Sinclaire asked, looking over. 

“Could have,” he corrected, with a smile, “I’m Matt by the way.” 

“Sin,” she took his hand, before the others. Meeting Aiden, Jerry, and Mitch. 

**She** **was about 7 beers** in, half a pack of cigarettes and bent over clutching her side with a laugh because of a story they were telling her about some party they had gone to last weekend that involved a few of the same girls when Colson’s voice met her ears. 

“Sin?” 

“Yeah,” she glanced over, “hey.” She waved, before finishing her 8th beer. 

Colson raised an eyebrow, “I’ve been looking for you,” he gave a point towards the house, wrapping his arm around her shoulders, “you’re cold.”

“I’m tipsy,” she chuckled, throwing her empty beer bottle away, “uh, this is Matt, Mitch, Aiden, and Jerry,” she introduced them quickly, “this is Colson.” 

“You didn’t tell us you were here with the host,” Aiden laughed, giving a nod towards Colson, “great party man.” 

“Oh,” Sinclaire shrugged, “so, anyway, what happened after they got up?”

Aiden shrugged, “the cops came and took them in for public intoxication.” 

“Oh,” Sinclaire chuckled. Taking the beer Mitch offered her. “We don’t have anything crazy like that back home. Most of our parties are pretty lowkey.” 

“We should road trip and party with you sometime,” Matt gave a wiggle of his eyebrows and smile. 

Colson did not like that, his hand tightened around Sinclaire’s shoulder as she shrugged and said they were welcomed anytime. “Are you ready to go?” He asked, bending slightly. 

Sinclaire turned and looked up at him in question, “if you want?” She asked uncertainly, “isn’t this your party?” 

“Well mine and Slim’s,” Colson nodded. “So?” 

“It’s only 11,” she added, glancing at his watch, “I thought I was gonna see your world in action,  _ Kells. _ ” 

He didn’t like this, something about her was mad, and he didn’t know what. Could have been him getting pulled aside the moment they walked through the door, could have been something these idiots said to her. He saw them around at a few of the parties. They tended to party with the same group, after all. People they knew, or people who knew others that came a lot. Whatever it was, he didn’t like this. They were supposed to be having a good time like they did back in Missouri. None of this drama, none of this... shit. 

Colson gave a short nod, before slipping his jacket off and wrapping it around her shoulders, “Okay. I’m going back in because it’s cold.” 

“Mm,” she shrugged into his jacket and finished her beer, “Okay, I’ll find you later.”

He blinked at her words, a little annoyed, but instead of having an argument in front of everyone he forced a smile and stepped away with a quiet, “okay.” 

**Sinclaire** **knew she had most surely** crossed a line when she let Colson walk away, but then again he chose to leave her to her own devices at his own party in a place she didn’t know, with a ton of people she didn’t know. At least back home at James’ party he knew Molly and James well enough to not be uncomfortable. 

But now she was drunk, stumbling through this house she didn’t know, looking for him and her biggest fear was one of these Cleveland party hoes - as the guys had called them, were taking up his time. 

She grabbed the wall with a shaky hand and grabbed her phone from his jacket pocket, pulling it out to find a few text messages. 

“Hey, is anyone not drunk?” She called over the music and saw a girl standing towards the door look at her, “you?” 

“Yeah, I’m dd-ing, what’s up? You okay?” 

“Are any of these from Colson?” Sinclaire asked giving her, her phone. 

“Uh, these three are.” 

“What do they say?” 

“ _ ‘I’m exhausted, I headed back to the hotel, Slim will take care of you if you need anything babygirl.’ _ ” 

Sinclaire stared at the girl in shock, “excuse me?” 

“ _ ‘I’m exhausted, I headed back to the hotel, Slim will take ca-.’ _ ” 

Sinclaire shook her head, cutting her off, “can you type back for me?” 

“Sure,” she looked at her expectantly. 

“Uh, tell him, ‘I’m pissed. I’m headed to the airport, Slim can take care of you if you need anything.” 

“You sure?” 

“100%,” Sinclaire snapped, watching the girl type the message before handing the phone back, “thanks, now who do I call for a cab?” 

“Oh,” the girl took the phone back and made a call, talking for a few minutes before she handed the cell back, “they’ll be here in about 45 minutes.” 

“Thanks, I owe you,” Sinclaire took her phone back before making her way outside the front door and lighting a cigarette. She was halfway through before her phone started ringing and she answered immediately. “I’m the only one outside, I don’t see you?” 

“Sinclaire?” Colson’s voice met her and she froze, she had thought it was the cab driver getting there sooner. “What are you doing?” 

“Going home because fuck you.” 

“You were having fun!” 

“Not that much fucking fun,” she hissed, “how dare you leave me here!” 

“Slim is there, he said he’d look over you.” 

“Doing a real fantastic job, I just stumbled around this fucking house for an hour looking for you.” 

“Stumbled around? Are you drunk?” 

“A bit.” 

“Don’t get in the taxi,” she heard moving on the other side of the phone, “I’ll come to get you.” 

“No, fuck you.” 

“Sinclaire, let’s sleep it off and then if you still want to leave after we wake up....” 

She stood quietly, taking a drag of her cigarette, “I want to leave now.” 

“I’m on my way.” He promised before the phone went dead. Sinclaire stared at it in shock, before the door was opened and Slim stood there his own phone to his ear. 

“Sinclaire please don’t leave,” he said quickly, watching her wrap Colson’s coat around herself tighter, “Kells is on his way.” 

“Fuck him.”

“Sorry I didn’t know where you were,” Slim said after a second. “But don’t leave him.” 

“He left me.” 

“He said you were having a good time, he didn’t want to bother you.” 

“Fuck him.” 

Slim frowned, looking up when a car approached. He knew it was Colson, they weren’t staying more than five minutes away from the house. “Well, I’ll let you guys fight this out,” Slim said quietly, “uh, just give him a chance Sin....” 

Sinclaire blinked back her angry tears, throwing her cigarette away before Colson was in front of her and Slim was back through the door. Sinclaire kept her eyes from Colson because she knew the moment she looked at him she was going to lose it. 

“Sinclaire,” he whispered, “please don’t go.” 

It was quiet outside, just the thoughts filling her mind. That and his breathing. 

“I didn’t want to annoy you, I could tell you were pissed, but I needed to leave because I was... I  _ am  _ just exhausted.” He continued when she remained quiet, “I’m sorry I left you here but it wasn’t malicious.” Sinclaire glanced towards him, her eyes trailing over his torso, “please don’t leave.” 

She let out a quiet sigh, relaxing the moment he reached for her, his hand sliding down her shoulder and grabbing at her own hand with a small pull, catching her against his chest when she stumbled.  “Stop touching me,” she growled and pushed at him. 

“Please don’t leave me,” he begged softly, tightening his arms, “please, Sin, don’t leave me.”

Sinclaire heard the urgency in his voice and she was wishing she wasn’t drunk so she could process it all better, it being Colson and his words. But instead, she just felt sick and angry. 

“Let go of me,” she gave his side another push, feeling his hands drop from her body before she took a step off the porch and headed towards the grass, bending over to catch herself against her knees. She just needed to get sick, she knew she would feel better and she would be able to think better. 

Colson pressed his hand to her back rubbing it softly, “it’s okay Sin, calm down.” 

“I don’t feel good,” she whispered, waving him off but he didn’t move he just grabbed her hair and pulled it back with one hand. 

“Colson,” she shook her head, before groaning and hanging her head down, “I should not have had beer.” 

“I’ll remember that,” he promised, rubbing her back again, “do you want a cigarette?”

“I’m cold,” she whined and he knew somewhere inside her mind she worked out that she wasn’t leaving. She was just drunk Sinclaire. He felt himself relax a bit, he could handle drunk Sinclaire. “I want to go back.” 

_ Oh _ , Colson frowned growing nervous again, “Okay, I’ll take you to the hotel to get your things.” 

“No,” she started but suddenly lurched forward, and was getting sick. Colson caught her as she stumbled and held her upright, “oh god.” She whined, leaning back against his chest when she stood up. 

“You okay?” 

“We just stay here? I can’t get in a car right now.” 

“Okay baby,” he helped her walk back into the house, ignoring everyone around them as he made his way up the stairs slowly, his only thought was Sinclaire. That was it. 

“Bathroom,” she slurred the moment they got on solid ground again and he hurried them into a room off the hallway, shutting the door behind them. Sinclaire oriented herself quickly and went straight to the toilet, grabbing it by the seat and throwing up again. Colson didn’t have enough time to get her hair out the way before she started and this time she didn’t seem to be stopping near as quickly as the first time. 

“Let’s get you in the shower,” he whispered once she pulled back, “all done?” 

“Yeah,” she felt better, to say the least, and knew a shower would do wonders. “A shower sounds good,” she agreed slowly feeling him shifting her around, he picked her up and sat her on the countertop. Then he started the shower and turned back to help her undress. She had already kicked her shoes off and was stripping his jacket when he turned around. Colson helped her out of her shirt and bra, then he got her to her feet and helped her out of her leggings, socks, and panties before putting her in the shower. “Join?” She asked quietly, relaxing in the warm water. 

“Okay.” He locked the bathroom door and got undressed, before joining her in the warm water. He let her lean back against him while he got the shampoo and started washing her locks. She practically purred at him, her eyes closed feeling his hands sliding through her hair and then down her back. 

Colson took his time making sure she was completely clean before letting her rinse off in the water. 

Sinclaire turned around to face him, her hands sliding over his body slowly, “your turn?” 

He hummed quietly, letting her rub his body down with soap. He jumped when she wrapped his fingers around her cock, moaning quietly at the feeling.

“It’s been a while,” she hissed, feeling him grow within her hand. 

“Sinclaire, you’re drunk, baby.” 

“I want you,” she muttered, tilting her head up to look at him, “I just want you.” 

Colson groaned and caught himself against the shower wall with a steady hand, “you're drunk,” he whispered, leaning his forehead against hers. 

She pressed her lips to his softly, “I’m sobering up.” 

“I know but you were literally  _ just _ throwing up, and no matter how much I want you and yes I always want you, babygirl, I am not taking advantage of you.” 

“You are too good for me,” she kissed his cheek, shutting her eyes and he pulled her against his chest cradling her close. 

“Let’s get you to bed,” he whispered instead of saying anything else and turned the water off before opening the curtain and getting her out. Sinclaire took the towel he gave her drying off quickly before wrapping it around her like a dress, Colson wrapped his own around his waist and took her down the hallway to his room, leaving their stuff in the bathroom. 

“Why are we staying at the hotel and not here?” 

“Because I didn’t want you to have to deal with this shit the whole time you were here,” he shrugged, getting into his dresser to get her a t-shirt. 

“I appreciate that,” she said after a moment, sitting on the edge of the bed after slipping the shirt on and handing him her towel. 

He was waiting for her to say something, he knew she was starting to sober up. He knew it was on her mind. If he had to wager he had a feeling he knew some things like that about her pretty well by now.  

“I really wished you hadn’t left me,” she spoke to his back, watching him turn around and face her, “I don’t like that.” 

“I didn’t leave  _ you _ , Sinclaire, I left the situation.” 

“That I was in. Without me.” 

“Fair enough,” he sighed, watching her scoot back on the bed and grab at the covers. “You want to know the truth?” 

“Always.” 

“I was mad you were talking to those guys.” 

“I was mad you left me alone the moment we walked through the door.” 

“Did you do it out of spite?” 

She chuckled, shaking her head, “I don’t do that, Colson. I was just outside smoking a cigarette and they talked to me.” 

“Of course they did, you’re beautiful.” 

“Mm,” she tilted her head, her wet hair falling in her lap, “I’m not exactly like the other girls around here, I don’t believe I’m anyone’s type. Aside from yours, odd enough.” 

“Those are the same bitches I see every day,” he shook his head, “but you? You’re everything Sinclaire.” 

“Unless I’m drunk, I’ve noticed.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“You never want me when I’m drunk.” She pulled her hair up in a messy bun, brushing her bangs to the side with her fingers. 

Colson frowned, crawling up next to her on the bed, “I always want you, Sin, I just don’t want to take advantage of you.” 

“I know, I know,” she tilted her head back, giving him a proper look, “fighting with you is easy.” 

He chuckled, lifting an eyebrow. 

“I just mean you let me talk, it’s nice.” She explained before reaching out and cupping his cheek, “also can I have a pair of shorts or something too? I need a cigarette.” 

“You can smoke in here,” he nodded towards the window, before stretching across the bed to open a side drawer and pull out a small box, “or we could have a joint?” 

“Do you want one,” she asked getting to her feet and opening the window, “oh, I left my stuff in the bathroom.” 

“I’ll grab it, baby.” 

* * *

**Colson** **raised off the bed** when he heard a lighter, finding Sinclaire leaning out his open window, her bare ass swaying in time with the song that was bumping from the speakers below them. He glanced over at the alarm clock seeing it was well into the afternoon, “Sin,” he said with a stretch, watching her duck back into the room. 

“Good morning Colson,” she smiled at him, flicking her cigarette out the window and shutting it halfway before she hurried across the room and jumped on his bed, “how’d you sleep?” 

“Good, I had you.” He smiled, pulling the covers up around her when she straddled his lap. “How’d you sleep?” 

“I have slept better,” she admitted, tracing her finger down his neck, “but it was okay.” 

“Today you’re all mine, huh?” 

“Today is slowly draining away,” she chuckled, “but okay.” 

“Then tomorrow too, we’re going on a date tomorrow.” 

“Oh, the date you won’t tell me about...?” 

“The very one,” he smiled, feeling her hand around his shoulder, “you’ll enjoy it.” 

Sinclaire gave a short nod, “of course I will, you’re planning it.” She promised before bending down to give him a kiss, “I’m excited.” 

“Me too,” he whispered, his hand delving in her messy hair and directing her to his lips for a second kiss, “you were pretty persistent last night, Sinclaire.” 

“You know how you say you always want me?” She asked quietly, grinning down at him, “I feel the same way.” 

Colson chuckled, arching his hips off the bed and giving her a slight buck, “do you want me right now?” 

“I haven’t stopped,” she hissed quietly, grabbing his shaft carefully and stroking him, he was hard already and had been since the moment he saw her leaning out the window that morning. 

“Drawer has condoms,” he instructed and she slipped her hands from his length to grab a one from the drawer. She took her time, leaning over him but Colson wasn’t about to let her off easy. His hands were sliding over her body and tugging that oversized t-shirt of his off until his mouth met her skin everywhere he could touch and he kissed and nipped at every part of her within his reach. 

Sinclaire giggled when his lips wrapped around a nipple, tugging at it softly with his teeth, “Colson,” she gasped, her hand finding his hair and pushing her fingers through the locks. 

“Hurry up babygirl,” he whispered nudging her hand with her head, “Daddy wants you. Right now.” 

She fumbled with the wrapper, it sliding through her fingers when his own slid against her clit. “Stop teasing me then!” She practically yelped, feeling him spread her and slide into her opening slowly. 

Colson smirked up at her, her legs tightening around his waist slowly as he brushed over her favorite spot along with his thumb slicking against her clit. Sinclaire was grabbing at his arms, letting out a quiet moan until finally she couldn’t hold back anymore and she came against his fingers. “A-ahhh,” she breathed, sagging slightly. “Daddy....” 

“Mm,” he slipped his hand out from under her to grab her waist and flip them over before he grabbed the condom and slipped it on. Sinclaire looked up at him with flushed cheeks and messy hair all over the bed as he slipped between her legs. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered down at her, bending to catch her lips in a kiss, “so, so beautiful.” 

“Shh,” she blushed, sliding her legs open. “Fuck me, Colson.” She said instead, rubbing herself against him, “I want more.” 

“You always do,” he licked her bottom lip playfully and took both of her hands above her head pinning them down before he finally slid between her legs and filled her slowly. 

Sinclaire groaned, shutting her eyes as he moved inside of her, her arms tensing slightly against his hold, “you're so big,” she gasped, her face flushed with it. 

He had heard it before, sure, but nothing like how she said it. God, he could have melted at the very words. His hands slackened in their hold only to grab her off the bed and press her against his body as he filled her. 

“Did Daddy like that?” She gasped out, wrapping her arms around him, she wanted it to be a tease but instead, it came out breathlessly at his sudden change in the mood. He was cradling her body against his own, his hips moving hard and quick as he filled her. He wanted to hear it again, he wanted to hear whatever she had to say as he fucked her. Sinclaire never disappointed. 

She kissed his shoulder, before biting him playfully and grinding her hips against his own when he stuttered forward with a heavy grunt - well, he had wanted it to last but there was just something about her that he couldn’t. He always felt he came so quickly when she was wrapped around him. 

“Sin,” he breathed out, feeling her move her hips again, “stop.” 

“More,” she practically begged, turning her big dark eyes to his own. 

“Give a man a second,” he chuckled, smoothing her messy hair half-heartedly before letting her back down on the bed. 

“No,” she drug her nails down his back, rocking up to meet him, “more.” 

“You’re being a brat today.” He laughed, before groaning. “Let me change condoms.” He said reaching towards the drawer.

Sinclaire fell down to the bed, her hand sliding down her body and he was frozen the moment her hand made it between their legs. His new condom laid forgotten in the bottom of the drawer as he slid out of her and her fingers pressed against herself. 

“I’m so wet for you,” she breathed out, her eyes locked on his face as he watched her touch herself. 

“Y-Yeah?” 

“Mmhm,” she sighed contentedly, her hand moving slowly, “you do this to me.” 

“I do,” he wanted it to be a confident statement but instead it came out in a question, his mouth going dry.

“All your fault Daddy,” she groaned, dragging her slick fingers against her pelvis. 

“Sin,” he breathed, on his knees now, and he bent his head to kiss where her fingers had been. 

Sinclaire pressed her feet against his legs, and then his mouth was down there, all the way, and she could have died. 


	12. See My Tears Pt. 3

“ **But** _Kells_ ,” she started, giving him a look. One he was grinning at. 

“Don’t make fun of my friends.” 

“Oh Kelllllllllssss,” she drug out his name with a playful grin, they were tucked into some home-style restaurant that he was saying made the best food and Sinclaire was on a high. She had, had a great time on their date. He took her out like a true tourist - showed her his world in a way even he had never experienced before. He forgot how much cool shit Cleveland had. Sinclaire took a drink of her coke, before giving him his favorite smile, one that made her eyes look lighter. “What’s the matter?”

“I just like you,” he shrugged, leaning back in the booth, “I don’t want you to leave.” 

“I know but I have to.” She frowned suddenly, running her fingers through her hair, “but we have tomorrow morning together.” 

“Tonight can we just shut the world off and be together?” 

Sinclaire smiled softly, reaching across the table for his hand, “I had no idea you were such a romantic.” 

“Mm,” he took her hand softly, “did you like dinner?” 

“I did,” she nodded, giving his hand a squeeze. “And all of today, that art museum was amazing.” 

“Good,” he lifted their hands to press his lips to the back of hers, glancing at the approaching waitress. “Can we have the check please?” 

“Sure,” she nodded, pulling their plates from the table and heading away. 

Sinclaire grabbed her purse, pulling out her wallet. 

“I got it babygirl,” he waved her away but was soon fixed with one of her looks. “Oh?” 

“You paid all day,” she scolded and flashed her card in front of the waitress, “I got dinner.” 

“You don’t have to,” he frowned but Sinclaire just fixed him with another look and he shut up about it watching her sign the receipt and leave a generous tip. “Well thank you for dinner.” 

“Thank you for today,” she slid out to her feet, slipping her purse over her shoulder and grabbing her phone from the side pocket, checking a message that she quickly answered. 

“Ready?” He asked, throwing his arm over her shoulder and leading the way outside. She was already grabbing her cigarettes from her purse and as soon as they were outside she lit it and pulled in a deep drag. 

“So, just us tonight?” She spoke around her smoke, peering up at him.

“Just us, babygirl,” he nodded, grabbing her door and helping her in, “what do you want to do?” 

“Hot tub time,” she smiled, flicking her half-smoked cigarette away and climbing into the car. 

“Hot tub it is.” He promised, hurrying around to his side. 

* * *

colson **@machinegunkelly** _March 26_

i don’t want to say goodbye. 

 

colson **@machinegunkelly** _March 27_

how do you tell someone you love they should stay forever? 

 

James **@jameson** _March 27_

@ **machinegunkelly** you okay bro? 

 

colson @ **machinegunkelly** _March 27_

asking for a friend. @ **jameson**

 

James @ **jameson** _March 27_

@ **machinegunkelly** it’s really early you should get some sleep. Might make you feel better? 

 

colson @ **machinegunkelly** _March 27_

she’s up, drawing, so I’m letting her be. @ **jameson**

* **attached picture of Sinclaire laying across the bed with her sketch pad***

 

James @ **jameson** _March 27_

@ **machinegunkelly** you have my number if you need anything, bro. 

* * *

* **photo set of Sinclaire sleeping, cuddled against her pillows***

 

**machinegunkelly** she’s taking a quick nap before the flight.

* * *

 

 

**Sinclaire** wrapped her arms around Colson tightly, “you’ll call me as soon as you land, right?” 

“Promise,” she smiled, burying her face against his chest. 

“You have your medicine?” 

“In my pocket.” 

“You’ll be okay?” 

“Always,” she pulled back and looked up at him with a grin, “you’ll be okay, Colson?” 

“Yeah, yeah,” he pulled her back in and shut his eyes, leaning in to kiss the top of her head. “Alright, get outta here before I kidnap you.” 

“Demanding Daddy,” she giggled, flushing softly when he cupped her cheeks and brought her in for a kiss, “we’ll see each other soon,” she whispered against his lips. 

“Not soon enough.” Colson swallowed the lump in his throat and shut his eyes, lowering his head to bury himself against her neck and take a deep breath. He had to say it, it was on the tip of his tongue and had been since he landed in her hometown three weeks ago. “I love you,” he gushed softly against her neck and Sinclaire tensed slightly in his arms before her arms tightened around him and he felt her lips on his own neck. “You don’t have to say it back,” he hurried without meeting her eyes as he pulled back, “I just... I just wanted you to know how I feel.” 

“I’ll call you,” she tried to meet his eyes but he was looking anywhere but at her. “Be good,” She added and grabbed him by the chin, “goodbye Colson.”  

He finally met her look, and let out a slow breath, “goodbye baby.” 

* * *

colson @ **machinegunkelly** _March 27_

well shit. 


	13. Her Song

_ March 27, 2019 1945  _

**C** : How come you haven’t called yet? 

**C** : Sin answer the phone. Please. 

**C** : Where are you?  
It’s been 9 hours. 

**C** : Why aren’t you answering me? 

_ 2000 _

**C** : hey James it’s Colson.  
Have you heard from Sin?  
It’s been 9 hours.  
Did you pick her up?

* * *

_ March 28, 2019 0314 _

**M** : Hey is this Colson?  
It’s Molly.

**C** : Hey? What’s going on? 

**M** : James and Sinclaire were in a car wreck. 

**C** : WHAT

**M** : She’s in critical condition. I wanted you to know. 

**C** : I’m on my way.  
Right now.

**M** : Okay. See ya soon. 

* * *

colson @ **machinegunkelly** _March 28_

God is real funny sometimes. but im not laughing right now. 

* * *

**Colson** was fresh out of the taxi with his phone in hand, calling Molly as he approached the hospital. 

“Colson?”

“Where are you guys? I just got here.” 

“ICU, it’s on the 2nd floor. I’ll meet you at the elevators.” She said before hanging up and Colson went straight for the metal door elevators, less than five minutes and he was stepping off and found Molly standing before him. 

“Hey,” she said quickly, “how was the flight?” 

“Fine, where is she?” 

“Back here,” Molly led the way, “Uh, Colson, she doesn’t look so good so just be prepared.” 

“What happened?” 

“No one is really sure, James was driving and he was high when they brought him in. That’s all we really know.” Molly stopped in front of a door, “she is still out, they have her in a medically induced coma right now.” 

“Why?” 

“She had a brain bleed, they’re hoping it helps her brain recover.” 

Colson sucked in a deep breath and pushed the door open slowly, peeking into the room. The lights were out and the only window was cracked a little bit. Colson wet his lips nervously and gave a nod to Molly saying she was going to run to get them some coffee. 

Sinclaire laid on the bed in the room, her face was bruised and beat up pretty badly, he saw a cast on her right arm and one on her right leg. “Oh no, babygirl.” He whispered, approaching the bed slowly, “no, no, no.” 


	14. Her Song Pt. 2

**Colson** **had finally agreed** to leave and shower and get something proper to eat after three days, only to come back to Sinclaire finally awake. Molly was standing outside the room, tears in her eyes as they met. 

“What happened?” 

“She’s been awake for about an hour,” Molly answered, wiping the tears away, “she is pretty irritated right now, but you can go in if you want. I’m gonna go check on James, see how he is doing.” 

Colson stopped at the door, turning to look at her properly - he hadn’t even asked about James. He was the furthest thought from his mind. “Uh, where is he?” 

“A few rooms down,” Molly gave a nod, “he’s doing okay, far better off than Sin is.” She swallowed roughly, “really kicking himself in the ass, the cops were just in to talk with him about ten minutes ago.” 

“Oh,” Colson whispered, “right, well, I’m gonna go in here.” 

“Sure, yeah, good luck.” 

Colson pushed the door open slowly and peeked in, Sinclaire looked over at him in confusion before a slow smile spread across her face. “How about that, Colson?” 

“Sin,” he whispered, hurrying to her bedside. 

“Didn’t know  _ soon _ was going to be a few days later, hm?” 

“Stop, it’s not funny.” He shook his head and grabbed her left hand, “are you in pain?” 

“They gave me medicine,” she nodded towards the IV in her left arm, “all good right now.” 

“Why was Molly crying...?” 

Sinclaire shrugged, “I don’t know, she’s sensitive. How are you? Are you okay?” 

“Worried,” he said honestly, dropping down in the chair beside her bed, resting his forehead against the hand he was holding. 

Sinclaire shifted slightly, giving his hand a slight tug, “hey, it’s gonna be okay. Everything is looking good, that’s why they woke me up.” 

“A brain bleed, Sinclaire.” 

“I’m recovering,” she whispered softly, giving him as much of a smile as she could, “I would invite you in to hold me if I wasn’t so big and bulky.” 

Colson sighed, shaking his head. He knew everyone handled these type of things in their own way but he wasn’t going to pretend jokes and backhanded comments were his thing. Sin shifted again with a slight wince, “what can I do?” 

“Nothing, Colson, there isn’t anything to do. This is it. Me laying in this fucking bed recovering because my friend was too stupid to be sober when he picked me up.” She hissed at his question and Colson blinked in shock. Okay, this was more up his alley sure, but he wasn’t sure what to say, “and I can’t smoke a fucking cigarette because I can’t smoke in here and it’s not like I can leave so here we are.” 

“Okay,” he eased his hand out of her hold, at a loss. 

“And I want nothing more than to just roll over on my side, but guess what!” 

He wet his lips nervously, watching her, “can’t do it?” 

“That’s right. I can’t fucking do that either!” 

“We’re gonna get through this Sin.” He promised, seriously, “I’m going to be here. For you, baby, to help you.” 

“I didn’t ask you to be here!” She was started, she couldn’t stop now. “But here you are, unable to help, giving me your pity, and I didn’t ask for it. I didn’t ask for any of this!” 

“I know.” 

“So, fuck you, man. Fuck you, and James and Molly and everyone else out there walking around because their friends are smarter than mine.” 

He gave a short nod, waiting. 

Sinclaire knew she was crying, at some point the tears had started and she wasn’t sure how to make them stop, “and fuck me, right? I can’t fucking move, I can’t fucking breathe without wanting to cry, I can’t get the fuck up... I’m just fucking stuck here.” She lifted her good arm to wipe at her face, ignoring the sting from the swollen, bruised cheeks. “Say something!” She demanded when she looked at him again. 

Colson shrugged, “just letting you get it out, Sin.” 

“I don’t need to get anything out!” 

“You sure are doing a lot of yelling for someone that doesn’t have anything to get out.” 

That stopped her short, she laid back with a weary huff, shutting her eyes and blowing out a heavy breath, “I just really want a cigarette, Colson.” He reached down and pressed the red call button, and with a soft beep she jerked her head around to look at him, “what are you doing?” 

“Getting a nurse.” 

“Why?” 

“To get a nicotine patch, since you can’t smoke.” He shrugged and glanced at the door when it opened. 

“Hey, everything okay?”

“Yeah, hey,” he got to his feet slowly, “I was wondering if she could have a nicotine patch?” 

“We’ll have to get a doctors order for that,” the nurse nodded, before checking her watch, “he should be in, in about an hour. I’ll put that on our list to talk about.” 

“Great, thanks,” Colson grinned, watching her leave, “so, got that taken care of. What was next?” He asked, looking down at her. 

Sinclaire let out a loud laugh, a smile breaking across her face, “you infuriating man.” 

* * *

 

**Sinclaire** flexed her fingers slowly, cringing at the pain that shot through her arm. Even with the cast on, she could feel it all. 

“What’s up?” Colson asked from overtop his gift shop bought book, his eyes scanning her.

“Nothing.”

“Do you need pain medicine?”

“No, it’s just my arm,” she lifted the cast with a sigh, “what if I can’t paint again?” 

“It’ll heal,” he said softly, “and if it doesn’t you’ll figure it out, you can do anything you set your mind to. Especially you.” 

“Mm,” she shut her eyes and folded her arms across her stomach, “if you say so.” 

Colson got up, bending down to press his lips to her forehead, “if anyone can do it, Sin, it’s you.”

She chuckled, “when will you leave?” 

“Not until you are better, babygirl.” 

Sinclaire sighed softly, shaking her head, “I’ll keep you posted, Colson, you have a life to get back to.” 

“That isn’t an option,” he moved to kiss her on the lips, brushing his fingers through her hair, “Do you want to sit up for a while?” 

“That would be nice,” she agreed eagerly because she knew what that meant. It meant once she got scooted forward on the bed he would crawl in behind her and she could lean back on him. They moved slowly, Colson patiently helping her until he did just that - crawled in behind her and held her against his body.  Sinclaire relaxed instantly, shutting her eyes the moment her head rested against his chest. Colson rubbed her arms softly and held her tightly. She soon drifted to sleep in his arms.  He was brushing her hair softly when Molly walked in, with a few other people behind her. 

“Hey,” he said quietly, his hands freezing from their work, “everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Molly gave a small smile, “this is Mr. and Mrs. Wilson.” 

“Oh,” Colson dropped the brush on the bedside and took the offered hands, “uh, Colson Baker.” 

“How is she doing?” 

“Sleeping,” he said quietly, then glanced at the clock, “it’s been about two hours though, I’ll wake her.” He pressed his lips to her temple, “hey Sin,” he tried, giving her good arm a small poke, “wake up, baby, you have visitors.” 

“Mm,” Sinclaire’s eyes fluttered at the disturbance, “no.” 

“Well,” he cleared his throat and she opened her eyes in question, scanning his face, “I think they’re important.” 

“Important...?” She asked in question, before looking around, her eyes falling on the two people standing there. “Sherry?” 

“Hey Sin,” the woman said softly, “how are you?” 

“I’ve been better,” she answered quietly, shifting with a little help from Colson to look at them, “how are you? How was your flight?” 

“It was good,” Sherry, the woman, reached forward with a sadness in her eyes, “James wants to come in and see you.” 

“Mm,” Sinclaire took her hand with a soft squeeze, “he’s always welcome, he knows that.” 

“I’ll be sure to tell him,” Sherry answered, holding her hand tightly. 

The man cleared his throat, making his way to go for a hug but stopped short when Sinclaire turned her eyes to him, “how are you, Mark?”

“Well, well, far better off than you I’d say.” 

Sinclaire chuckled, tilting her head, “I’d say you’re right.” When Colson gave a quiet _tsk_ Sinclaire smiled, “this is Colson Baker, Colson this is my Aunt and Uncle, Sherry and Mark.” 

“Yeah, we had kinda met while you were still asleep,” Colson gave them a grin, “nice to know your names, though.” 

“Molly said you’ve been taking good care of her, here every day?” Mark asked, taking the seat next to the bed. 

“He’s been here the whole week,” Sinclaire spoke up before he could, “I’ve been trying to get him to go home.” 

“Not until you’re better,” he said sternly, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her back against his chest slowly. 

Sherry smiled at them, “Molly mentioned you were getting released Friday?” 

“That’s the plan,” Sinclaire gave a short nod, getting comfortable against Colson, “you all should have just called instead of flying out here.” 

“Well,” Mark cleared his throat, “we figured we would help you out for a while?” 

“Help me out?” She looked at them quickly, “I don’t need to be helped out.” 

“Well you never know, we’ll just stay a few days and make sure everything is fine,” Sherry said softly and suddenly Colson realized her Uncle was the blood relation, Sherry was too soft-spoken. 

“Colson isn’t leaving until I’m better, and who knows what the hell he means by that. And Molly has been hovering all fucking week and now you two?” 

“You do this for people you care about Sin!” Mark snapped, and Colson knew for sure. They had the same temper. “This can let  _ Colson  _ take a break and get back to his life, we will be here, that’s it. End of discussion.” 

“I don’t want you here, I don’t want anyone here.” 

“Why? So you can go down  _ that _ same path again?” 

“Shut up!” Sinclaire’s voice cut through the room like a knife. Mark was angry, Sherry was crying, and Colson was staring at Sinclaire in shock. He had thought he had seen her at every turn by now, but this? This was hatred. Full-on hatred seething right out of her. 

“Sin,” he whispered, his shock written all over his tone. She tensed as if realizing what had happened but it was too late. The damage was done. “That’s family, Sin, don’t do this.” 

“Sorry,” she shut her eyes, “I have a headache and my arm hurts.” Was all she said before falling quiet and laying against Colson who didn’t dare move a muscle. 


	15. Her Song Pt. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [This is the end, of this story. Not of my MGK writing.] [Warnings: Addiction] [No Beta]

**Colson** hurried out of the driver’s side and around to the back to help her out of the car. Sinclaire was covered in a blanket and waiting patiently, seeing her Aunt and Uncle pulling up behind them as she was helped out. “Oh Jesus,” she sighed, “they’re really not going away.” 

“They care,” Colson whispered to her, before pulling her into his arms. 

“I have to be 15 pounds heavier with these casts,” she chided him, Colson just smirked. 

“I’ll grab her stuff,” Mark said, “Sherry help the man with the door.” 

“Got it,” Sherry smiled at Colson and stepped in front of him, after grabbing the keys, she unlocked the door and held it open as Colson took his time to be careful and walk them through. 

Sinclaire sighed contentedly the moment they were through her door, relaxing almost instantly and Colson grinned, “you’re home babygirl.” 

“I missed it,” she whispered, laying her head against his shoulder, “take me to bed?” 

“Of course,” he took her down the hallway, without a word at Sherry who was heading back outside to help Mark with whatever was left in the car. “Once I get you tucked in, I’ll grab your medicine.” 

“Mmm,” Sinclaire hummed, feeling her bed around her and she smiled, “this is better.” She let Colson shift her around and cover her up, “you can join?” 

“I’d love to,” Colson smiled, “let me get your medicine, first, and make sure Sherry and Mark are off.” 

“Oh yeah, them.” Sinclaire groaned, throwing her head back against her pillow, “alright, alright.” She waved her good arm before he could scold her again. 

 

* * *

 

* **attached photo of Sinclaire in bed asleep.***

 

**machinegunkelly** we’re home. 

* * *

**Sinclaire** was staring at her phone when Colson came into the living room carrying a plate of Chinese take out and two drinks, “why do you post about me so much?” She asked by way of greeting. 

“Because I love you.” He said simply, something he had been saying more often over the past week now. 

“I can read the comments your  _ fans  _ write, you know.” She looked back down at her phone, “‘dumb bitch.’ ‘She should have died.’ ‘Why the fuck you care about her so much?’ ‘I’ve been stalking her page she ug-.’” 

Colson took the phone from her hand and shook his head, interrupting her, “stop.” 

“These people hate me, Colson.” 

“I don’t care what these people like, Sinclaire.” 

“They’re  _ your  _ fans.” 

“If I lose fans over being in love they weren’t a very good support system, huh?” He asked seriously, laying her phone on the table, “now let’s eat.” 

Sinclaire frowned and shook her head, “maybe just don’t post about me so much? I don’t want to deal with it.” 

“ _ Deal _ with it?” 

Sinclaire met his look nervously, “I had to turn off DM’s because people were being rude and look I get it... you have fans and you’re hot and everything and I’m just me but like... I don’t want to deal with that stuff.” 

“You’re just  _ you _ ?” He scoffed, shaking his head before easing himself down on the couch next to her and putting the plate on the coffee table, “Sinclaire you are everything.” 

“To you maybe.” 

“That’s all that matters. They don’t matter.” He leaned across her, pressing his lips to her cheek, “you’re just a small-town girl from Nowhere, Missouri.” He whispered, kissing her temple. “And I’m me - this guy that everyone knows. You’re amazing, you’re perfect.” She wished she felt that was as good a thing as he did. He paused a moment before handing her the plate, “now time to eat, babygirl.” 

* * *

 

colson @ **machinegunkelly** _April 7_

if you support me you support me and my girl. if you don’t support me and my girl you’re nothing to me. 

colson @ **machinegunkelly** _April 7_

im going to start blocking people who think it’s okay to send hate. try me. 

* * *

**Sinclaire** was tucked into one of his oversized hoodies and a pair of panties when he walked through the door. She had a cigarette in hand and was leaning against the balcony door at the back of her house. 

“Sin!” He gasped, “what are you doing?” 

“Smoking a cigarette,” she waved her hand. She had only just got the hard cast off her arm and gave a nod towards the crutches. “I used those.” 

“Those are for emergencies, you aren’t supposed to be putting a lot of weight on your hand yet!” 

“I tried to tell her the same thing,” Sherry said, coming down the hallway with a basket of laundry. “But she doesn’t want to listen.” 

“I have a brace,” she sighed, “I’m doing just fine.” 

Colson frowned, hovering in the kitchen while she finished her smoke then he was by her side and pulling her close, “Sin, you said you’d listen to the doctor.” 

“I did,” she whined, pushing at him with her good arm, “I put all my weight on the left side and just used the right for stability.” 

Colson shook his head, “I’m taking you back to the couch,” he pulled her against him before bending to pick her up and pull her into his arms. 

“You’re such a worrywart,” she frowned when he put her down on the couch, “honestly.” 

“I want you safe and healthy, Sinclaire,” he smiled at her, “I have to leave in five days.” 

“Finally.” 

Colson gave her a look, “five days Sinclaire and that’s it. I have to know you’re safe.” 

“I am safe, I am healing, and I am taking care of myself.” Sinclaire answered dryly, “so don’t you dare sit there and act like I’m not going to be okay.” 

He sunk down to her knees beside her and leaned in laying his head against her stomach, “when will you get it through your thick head?” 

“What exactly?” 

“How much I care about you?” 

Sinclaire glanced down the hallway where Sherry was scurrying away and then she looked back at Colson, pushing her fingers through his hair. “So how was your trip to the store?” 

Colson pressed a kiss to her stomach, “good, I got all the essentials.” 

“Mm,” she gave a nod at the door opening to see Mark peeking his head in. 

“A little help?” 

“Oh I forgot, be right back. Don’t you move!” Colson warned, hopping up and hurrying out to help Mark with the groceries. 

* * *

Sinclaire Winclaire @ **fortheloveofsin** _April 9_

I could tell you the truth, but then you’d know how broken inside I was.

Sinclaire Winclaire @ **fortheloveofsin** _April 9_

What scares me most is you. 

Sinclaire Winclaire @ **fortheloveofsin** _April 9_

Got those old songs on repeat while I paint tonight.    
***attached photo of an unfinished painting: a large-sized dripping wet slash of red paint across the middle of a beautifully painted naked girl***

Molly @ **mollywolly** _April 9_

You good? Do I need to come over? Where is Kells? @ **fortheloveofsin**

Sinclaire Winclaire @ **fortheloveofsin** _April 9_

Nah, he’s asleep. All good. @ **mollywolly**

Molly @ **mollywolly** _April 9_

Go wake him up, babe. @ **fortheloveofsin**

 

* * *

**“Sin?”** Colson’s tired voice called through the apartment as he searched for her, pausing when he heard the rattle of pills. He looked around frantically, realizing she was most surely in her studio room. He pushed the door open slowly and found her with a bottle of tequila in one hand, and a couple of her pain pills in another, “Sin?”  She looked up, freezing the moment she saw him.  “Baby, what are you doing?” 

“I was just painting.”

“Is this what Mark was talking about that day in the hospital?” 

Sinclaire looked down at her hands, turning to put the pills on the desk next to her before putting the bottle down. “I was just taking some pain pills, I’ve been painting for a few hours. My arm was sore.” 

“Sin,” he whispered and stepped forward, peering down at her with a nervous breath, “talk to me.” 

“It’s nothing,” she shook her head, before sitting back in her chair, shutting her eyes and stretching her neck slowly. “I should just get to bed.” 

Colson swallowed roughly, “I have to leave. Tomorrow. Mark and Sherry are gone, now, Sin.” He let out a slow breath, “I can see if Molly can stay with you?”

“I don’t need someone to stay with me,” she spat, before getting to her feet, stumbling slightly at the sudden movement, the weight on her cast shot pain through her whole leg and she grunted, “just leave me the fuck alone, I can do this! I’m a fucking adult, Colson!” 

“Why do you always do this, Sin?” He caught her, ignoring her words, “stop, please, just stop trying to throw me away.” Sinclaire fell quiet, letting him pick her up and carry her to bed, he didn’t say anything else, just laid her down on the bed, turned on the lights and left her alone. 

He went back to her studio, picking up the pills, putting them in the bottle, and taking the nearly empty bottle of tequila with him to the kitchen. He poured it down the drain, throwing the bottle away and then tucked the pills away on the counter. He couldn’t just take them away, in case she really needed them, but he’d have to figure something out. 

He pulled his phone out, about to send Molly a message when he saw the Twitter notifications from Sin. He scrolled through his feed, pausing on the Tweet of her painting, his body ached as he stared at the image and Colson went back to the studio. Looking at it in person, there on the easel she had been sitting at was the picture. He saw pictures of herself laid out on the desk and grabbed one, it was a naked photograph of herself, posed in the mirror and he looked back at the painting, clearly, this was a self-portrait. 

Colson swallowed the lump in his throat, staring at the slash of dark red paint - it was still wet, the larger drips holding too much paint and taking longer to dry. He stared at the painting a moment longer, spotting the words along the bottom of the painting in her pretty handwriting, pencil over the black background;  _ “From the bottom of the ash, I rose. Can’t you S A V E  M E?”  _

The words hit him like a truck, it reminded him of the night they first met, it was an old song of his, a song he could barely remember it. He put the picture back on the desk, flipped the light off and headed back to their room. 

**Sinclaire gave a** soft stretch on her bed, kicking her legs out from under the covers and moving to roll off the bed when Colson’s voice met her ears, “where are you going?” 

“To pee,” she said quickly, freezing.

“Mmhm,” Colson sat up slowly before getting to his feet and around to her side, “come on then, I’ll help.” 

“I have to learn to do this on my own,” she spat, “you're leaving tomor- today, really.” 

“Well you still have me now,” he hooked his arm around her waist and helped her stand before giving her the crutches and watching her closely as she started hobbling down the hallway, most of her weight on her left side. “Good, you’re getting the hang of it.” 

“Well, it’s not like my leg works.” 

“You know what I mean,” he said tiredly, standing by the bathroom door as she shut it behind her. Sinclaire stared at herself in the mirror, shutting her eyes, she wasn’t ready for him to leave. At all. She liked him far too much to let him leave, but she couldn’t ask him to stay - she knew that. She fumbled with the mirror cabinet, tears threatening to spill over when she didn’t find the pain pills.  _ He must have put them somewhere else.  _

She turned on the faucet and cupped the cold water in her hand, bringing it up to her mouth and taking a drink. 

“Okay in there?” 

“Fi-fine.” She flinched as her voice broke and hurried up washing her hands before making her way to the door, “I’m not really tired, Colson, I’m gonna watch a movie.” 

“Okay?” 

“You go on to bed, I’ll be fine.” 

“What’s going on Sin?” 

“Nothing, nothing,” she smiled, shaking her head and giving him a quick kiss, “you're tired, get some sleep.” 

“Mm,” he watched her a moment longer before shaking his head, “tell me?” 

“I...” Sinclaire swallowed the lump in her throat, tears falling freely, and Colson stared at her in shock before his arms were around her and he was scooping her up, holding her, “I think I love you.” She sobbed against his shoulder. “Please don’t leave me here. I don’t want to be alone.” 

Colson shut his eyes, burying his nose against her hair and holding her in his arms tightly. 

* * *

Sinclaire Winclaire @ **fortheloveofsin** _April 14_

“You don’t love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.” - Oscar Wilde

* * *

colson @ **machinegunkelly** _April 15_

i forgot what 9 hour car rides were like. glad we’re stopping everywhere. 

* * *

* **photo of Colson holding Sinclaire in his arms at the ‘Welcome to Ohio’ state sign***

**machinegunkelly** we’ve made it. we’re home. 


End file.
